Then We Can All Be Happy...

I left my baby with strangers for the first time today.  I was completely ready to do it.  Kieran's 8 months old and does very well with both sets of grandparents and one of our nieces.  I figured he was ready to try the YMCA Child Watch while I worked out.  Soren has already been and really likes it.  The facility is very nice and there are plenty of caregivers to go around.  Soren went today, but he's big enough to play with the other big kids and Kieran had to be in the baby area.  So, I turned them over and went to the fitness room.  There's a TV by the treadmills where moms and dads can see everything that's happening in the Child Watch room, which is kind of a blessing and a curse.  

I could see that Kieran wasn't happy, but he was being held.  They even tried to give him his bottle.  They tried the swing and the bouncy seat.  They walked him around.  I did my time on the treadmill and moved onto weights.  I even had time to start my crunches before the Child Watch lady came looking for me.  She told me what I already knew.  Kieran had been crying almost nonstop for 45 minutes.  I walked quickly with her, all the while explaining that he's never been with anyone but family and I'm a stay-at-home-mom and blah, blah, blah.  Why did I feel the need to apologize for my baby?  Babies cry.  The caregiver told me that they had tried 'everything' to get him to stop crying.  Maybe I'm paranoid, but her tone was very impatient and condescending.  However, I really wasn't upset at this point because I expected this the first time.  Soren had exactly the same reaction when I left him in Child Watch for the first time.  The babies who aren't crying have gotten used to being left with strangers.  I don't want my baby to be upset, but I'm glad he isn't used to being left with strangers.  It means I'm doing my job.  If my baby didn't care when I left him in a room full of strangers, I would be worried about him.  His reaction was normal and appropriate. 

The annoying part was not that I had to go get my baby before I had finished my workout.  The part that annoyed me was that his diaper was completely soaked.  Had they changed him, he might have settled right down.  Soren told me the ladies wouldn't even let him try to comfort Kieran, which I find baffling.  Kieran loves being with Soren and it probably would have made him very happy to see that Soren was still there, even if I wasn't.  I'm sure they have some rule about big kids not being allowed in the baby area.  Whatever.  I'm also sure that most older brothers aren't as nice with babies as Soren happens to be.   

I probably won't bring Kieran back to the Y for a while because my mom has agreed to watch him a couple mornings a week while Soren takes his swimming lesson and I work out.  Then Soren and I will go to the pool and swim together.  It will all work out, but I just wish today could have gone differently.  Soren was so sad that we had to go home without going swimming.  He followed me out with his little head down.  When we got to the car, I realized he had tears streaming down his face.  He was sobbing by the time he got in his car seat.  I felt terrible.  I promised we would swim the next time and told him we would be going to the Y all summer.  He eventually settled down and told me he wished he could have gone in the baby area with Kieran because it would have made Kieran happy.  'Because Kieran loves me, Mommy.  And I love Kieran and I know how to make him laugh.'  I then realized that he wasn't just upset about not being able swim.  He was upset that his brother was so sad and he hadn't been allowed to help.  

How did I get so lucky?  I've never met a three year old who cared so much about his little brother.  I told Soren that I know how much he loves Kieran and that Kieran definitely loves him, too, even if he can't say it yet.  I said that I thought it was silly that the ladies didn't let him talk to Kieran and try to help.  I also said that next time we will take Kieran to Gran's house so that we can have 'Mommy and Soren time' at the Y.  Soren thought about that and said, 'I think that will be good because Kieran loves Gran and then we can go swimming.  Then we can all be happy.'    

Yep.  We sure can.