Sisters, Brothers and Irrevocable Bonds...
As you now know, I have two boys. They are brothers and, as Soren just told me, they are 'best friends'. While I choked back the tears I said, 'That makes me so happy, buddy. If you guys can be good friends, you will always have someone to play with and someone who has your back, no matter what.'
My mother said similar things to my sister and I. When we would fight, she would say, 'Remember, girls, you only have each other.' I am four and a half years older than my sister, Alexis, and it's just the two of us. Because of our age difference, I remember the exact moment when my mom and dad told me they were having another baby. It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. I couldn't wait! I wanted to help take care of her, play with her, love her, pet her and call her, 'George'. For the most part, she lived up to my expectations. She was adorable, sweet and really didn't cry much. However, the first born of any family will face the same kinds of things. Mom was no longer completely available only to me. She had someone else to care for, nurture, teach and love. Sure, I could 'help', to some degree, but I didn't always want to. I also didn't always want to be quiet, include my sister in my games or have her tag along when I went out to play with my friends. Sometimes it drove me crazy when my friends would fawn all over her and go on and on about how cute she was. WHAT ABOUT ME????
Remembering exactly how it felt to become a big sister has helped me immeasurably while coaching my first born in his new role of 'big brother'. For the most part he's very happy about having a little brother. He loves Kieran and is very sweet and gentle with him. However, he can also be selfish, impatient and jealous. Luckily, when Soren gets frustrated because I have to take care of the baby, or because I've told him to be quiet (for the millionth time) when the baby is sleeping, that frustration is taken out on me, not Kieran. I can handle it. Kieran is defenseless, but only for now. He's already showing signs of being able to take care of himself quite nicely. So, when Soren decided to taunt Kieran with a toy and then tell him he couldn't have it, Kieran growled and crawled after Soren. This action nearly scared the pants off Soren just this morning. I wish you could have seen the demonic look on my baby's face! Soren relinquished the prized zoo train with minimal intervention on my part. Soren actually seemed scared of his little brother. The natural consequences won out. I didn't have to tell Soren that he shouldn't tease his brother. Kieran communicated that sentiment all too well.
I try not to get involved unless someone is going to get hurt, or if someone is being treated unfairly and is unable to take care of the issue himself. Usually they play really well together. I can already trust them to be alone for a few minutes while I change the laundry over, go to the bathroom (by myself!) or start dinner. It's amazing! They're happy to play together and I know Soren would never hurt his brother. Well, not too much. The point is that they're enjoying being brothers. What more can I ask?
My mother said similar things to my sister and I. When we would fight, she would say, 'Remember, girls, you only have each other.' I am four and a half years older than my sister, Alexis, and it's just the two of us. Because of our age difference, I remember the exact moment when my mom and dad told me they were having another baby. It was one of the most exciting moments of my life. I couldn't wait! I wanted to help take care of her, play with her, love her, pet her and call her, 'George'. For the most part, she lived up to my expectations. She was adorable, sweet and really didn't cry much. However, the first born of any family will face the same kinds of things. Mom was no longer completely available only to me. She had someone else to care for, nurture, teach and love. Sure, I could 'help', to some degree, but I didn't always want to. I also didn't always want to be quiet, include my sister in my games or have her tag along when I went out to play with my friends. Sometimes it drove me crazy when my friends would fawn all over her and go on and on about how cute she was. WHAT ABOUT ME????
Remembering exactly how it felt to become a big sister has helped me immeasurably while coaching my first born in his new role of 'big brother'. For the most part he's very happy about having a little brother. He loves Kieran and is very sweet and gentle with him. However, he can also be selfish, impatient and jealous. Luckily, when Soren gets frustrated because I have to take care of the baby, or because I've told him to be quiet (for the millionth time) when the baby is sleeping, that frustration is taken out on me, not Kieran. I can handle it. Kieran is defenseless, but only for now. He's already showing signs of being able to take care of himself quite nicely. So, when Soren decided to taunt Kieran with a toy and then tell him he couldn't have it, Kieran growled and crawled after Soren. This action nearly scared the pants off Soren just this morning. I wish you could have seen the demonic look on my baby's face! Soren relinquished the prized zoo train with minimal intervention on my part. Soren actually seemed scared of his little brother. The natural consequences won out. I didn't have to tell Soren that he shouldn't tease his brother. Kieran communicated that sentiment all too well.
I try not to get involved unless someone is going to get hurt, or if someone is being treated unfairly and is unable to take care of the issue himself. Usually they play really well together. I can already trust them to be alone for a few minutes while I change the laundry over, go to the bathroom (by myself!) or start dinner. It's amazing! They're happy to play together and I know Soren would never hurt his brother. Well, not too much. The point is that they're enjoying being brothers. What more can I ask?
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