Date Night at Home

As much as we would all love to go out with our spouses every week, this may not always be possible. It may not even be possible once a month, depending on your situation. Sometimes you can't afford it. Sometimes you can't find a sitter. Sometimes you're just too tired to figure out what to do with a free evening. That's cool. It happens. However, if you want to maintain a strong marriage, you have to make time for just the two of you.

Our kids are in bed and asleep between 7:30 and 8:00. There is a reason for this. It means that I have my husband all to myself for a couple of hours before I can no longer keep my eyes open. Most nights we just read, watch TV and hang out. Every once in a while, we open a bottle of wine, get some fancy cheeses, meats, fruit and crackers (or whatever you don't have spend much time on, but still feels like a treat) and we eat together. We talk about things that don't involve children or family logistics. We laugh. We watch a movie. We snuggle up on the couch and remember why we wanted to have children in the first place.

At this point, I could use words like 'intimacy' and 'emotional availability'... but I won't. I hate that crap. Let's say what we mean. I need to be alone with my husband. I need to tell him how much I love him and appreciate him and I need to hear that from him, too. I need to feel the sense of peace that comes over me when he holds my hand or puts his arms around me. Every marriage needs those things. Without them, we starve and resentment starts to grow. When we don't feel loved, we get mean. We get defensive. We lose sight of what's important. We turn on each other. We become adversaries rather than each other's greatest ally. Date night isn't just a nice-to-have thing. It's imperative. It's necessary. It's vital. It's also really, really fun!