Make it Look Easy

Today I'm thinking about something my dad and I used to talk about.  When I would get frustrated with doing something I hadn't yet mastered (school work, music, sports) I would complain that 'it looks so easy for other people'.  My dad would say that, yes, people who are really good at something do make it look easy.  Ballet dancers make their movements look graceful and effortless, when, in fact, they are doing things with their bodies that are almost physically impossible and take years to perfect.  Professional athletes are like that, too, as are musicians, Broadway stars, brain surgeons and rock stars.  All of those people had to start out not knowing anything about their chosen profession.  They wanted to do something, they learned how to do it and they PRACTICED over and over and over again.  The more they practiced, the easier it got and the easier it looked to everyone else.  I have found this to be true about pretty much everything.  School work, swimming, playing the flute, acting, cooking and PARENTING.

Why do we want other people to know how hard our jobs are?  Have you ever noticed that people often want to tell us how terribly busy they are and how incredibly difficult their work is?  I do it.  I do it a lot more than I used to.  I do it because I'm a stay-at-home-mom, a full-time parent, and I feel that some people don't understand that what I do is challenging and valuable.  So, I tell them.  I tell them, and tell them and tell them.  I beat them over the head with it.  Does it help them understand?  I don't know.  Probably not.  They probably just think I'm a bitch.  

Then I had a thought.  What if I stopped trying to make people understand that my job is challenging and important?  What if I just focused on my children and my husband and stopped trying to change the perception of others?  I'd probably have a lot more fun.  I'd probably have more time and energy to spend on what matters most.  

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your job.  It matters what you and your family think.  I know what I'm doing matters and is valuable.  My husband knows it, too, just as I know how important and valuable his job is.  My kids may not understand it right now, but they will one day.  Soren already knows that my job is to take care of him and our home and Dad's job is going to meetings and working on the computer.  (My husband's work is a little more difficult to define for a three-year-old.)  He knows we all have to do our part to contribute to our family.  

Here are the important questions that I ask myself from time to time:

Do I love what I'm doing?  (YES!)

Is what I'm doing adding value to something that I value?  (YES!)

Do the people I work with think I'm doing a good job?  (YES!)

What kind of results am I getting?  (Thriving children and happy family.)

If all of those things are positive and true, then everything is as it should be.  Instead of trying to convince other people that doing what I do is difficult, I think I'll just focus on the 'doing'.  And, if it I make it look easy, GREAT!  If other people look at me and think, 'I could never stay home with my kids.  I would be bored.'  HA!  Bored.  I don't have time to get bored.  Or, maybe they think, 'Well, she's got it made.  Must be nice to have such a luxurious, cushy life with a husband who completely supports her.'  That's okay.  I do have it made.  I get to do exactly what I want to do in the way I want to do it.