What if We Loved Ourselves the Way We Love Others?
What if? What if, instead of criticizing and beating ourselves up, we gave ourselves the benefit of the doubt? I tell my kids that mistakes are good because we can learn from them. I tell them that I love them, no matter what! My husband loves me and sees the best in me, EVERY SINGLE DAY. I do the same for him.
So, why is it so hard to do that for myself? Why do I punish myself more than anyone else ever could? Why do I see the mistakes and failures before the successes and triumphs? Why do I minimize the positive choices I make every day and focus only on the failures?
I try not to do those things anymore. I make lists, almost daily, of the good things I've accomplished with my family. I talk about the things we've learned, the things I was able to teach my boys, the yummy dinners I've made and the chores I've done. I publish those lists on Facebook. I like the validation that comes back, but I still hear an annoying voice in my head. That voice says, 'That list isn't long enough. Those things aren't good enough. You could have done more. Don't forget about all the other stuff you DIDN'T do.'
Man, that voice is a BITCH. She's loud and mean. She's cruel. I wouldn't let anyone talk to anyone I love like that. I don't let people in the world talk to me like that. When they do, I defend myself. I fight. I yell.
Yet, when that BITCH starts talking, I listen. I find unhealthy ways of shutting her up. I eat too much, drink too much or watch mindless TV shows. I focus on other people's problems in order to feel better about myself. I can be superior to those poor fools who's lives are falling apart. Then I don't have to take care of my own stuff.
What if I stopped listening to that bitch? What if I told her what I would tell anyone else? "SHUT the FUCK UP! You don't know me! You have no power here."
What if I replaced that voice with one that says, "I love you. You're good. You deserve to be taken care of and loved. You deserve to be healthy and strong. You are worthy and important."
What if?
So, why is it so hard to do that for myself? Why do I punish myself more than anyone else ever could? Why do I see the mistakes and failures before the successes and triumphs? Why do I minimize the positive choices I make every day and focus only on the failures?
I try not to do those things anymore. I make lists, almost daily, of the good things I've accomplished with my family. I talk about the things we've learned, the things I was able to teach my boys, the yummy dinners I've made and the chores I've done. I publish those lists on Facebook. I like the validation that comes back, but I still hear an annoying voice in my head. That voice says, 'That list isn't long enough. Those things aren't good enough. You could have done more. Don't forget about all the other stuff you DIDN'T do.'
Man, that voice is a BITCH. She's loud and mean. She's cruel. I wouldn't let anyone talk to anyone I love like that. I don't let people in the world talk to me like that. When they do, I defend myself. I fight. I yell.
Yet, when that BITCH starts talking, I listen. I find unhealthy ways of shutting her up. I eat too much, drink too much or watch mindless TV shows. I focus on other people's problems in order to feel better about myself. I can be superior to those poor fools who's lives are falling apart. Then I don't have to take care of my own stuff.
What if I stopped listening to that bitch? What if I told her what I would tell anyone else? "SHUT the FUCK UP! You don't know me! You have no power here."
What if I replaced that voice with one that says, "I love you. You're good. You deserve to be taken care of and loved. You deserve to be healthy and strong. You are worthy and important."
What if?
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