Fear and Tolerance
We often tell people not to be afraid. We try to remind ourselves that fear is not productive. That's true. However, if we can acknowledge that we are afraid of something, then we can do something about it.
Yesterday, I admitted that I was afraid of having surgery next month. I haven't had general anesthesia since I was in my twenties. I never respond well. It takes a lot to put me under and it's hard for me to come our of it. I usually have bladder problems afterwards. It feels horrible. It's scary.
I said that out loud to my husband. He didn't tell me I was worrying about nothing or that I was being dramatic. He simply said, 'I understand.' Then he told me about the eight times he's been under for different surgeries and procedures. I knew about those already, but he was telling me again for a reason. He was proving that the surgeries all worked and that he was better off because of them.
He talked about pain tolerance. He has always said that he doesn't 'feel pain the way most people do'. I used to think that was crazy. Then I realized that it's not that he doesn't feel pain. It's that he expects pain and knows how to deal with it. He anticipates it, plans for it and even prepares his body to tolerate it.
I never think of myself as particularly tolerant, but when it comes to physical pain, I can be. I was in labor for four days with our first child. I didn't get any drugs until late on the fourth day. I tolerated that. I tolerated labor. I've tolerated all the pain that goes along with being a woman. I tolerated breast feeding, even when it was extremely uncomfortable. So, deep, deep down, I'm strong.
I don't cry much when it comes to physical pain. I didn't yell and scream during labor and delivery, because I was focused and working to hard to stay in control of my body. I knew that was the best way to help my babies and myself.
My husband saw all of these things. He saw the strength that I didn't even know I had. I tapped into something that I hoped I would have, but wasn't sure. I prepared. I knew about everything that could and would happen, from an intellectual standpoint. That was enough. I also knew, on a spiritual/emotional level, that everything was going to be okay. I knew I would live and that my babies would be healthy. I also knew that I would accept my babies in any form, healthy or otherwise. I'm not sure how I knew that. I just did. All of those things came to fruition. I recovered beautifully. The boys were both healthy, strong, beautiful little beings. I had my proof. My husband became the kind of father I dreamed about, and then he even exceeded those expectations. All the worry and fear went away. Relief set in.
Therefore, when I have my surgery in one month, I know I will be able to tolerate the pain and fear. I will tolerate the uncomfortable recovery. I will feel so much better when it's over. Relief will set in, again.
Yesterday, I admitted that I was afraid of having surgery next month. I haven't had general anesthesia since I was in my twenties. I never respond well. It takes a lot to put me under and it's hard for me to come our of it. I usually have bladder problems afterwards. It feels horrible. It's scary.
I said that out loud to my husband. He didn't tell me I was worrying about nothing or that I was being dramatic. He simply said, 'I understand.' Then he told me about the eight times he's been under for different surgeries and procedures. I knew about those already, but he was telling me again for a reason. He was proving that the surgeries all worked and that he was better off because of them.
He talked about pain tolerance. He has always said that he doesn't 'feel pain the way most people do'. I used to think that was crazy. Then I realized that it's not that he doesn't feel pain. It's that he expects pain and knows how to deal with it. He anticipates it, plans for it and even prepares his body to tolerate it.
I never think of myself as particularly tolerant, but when it comes to physical pain, I can be. I was in labor for four days with our first child. I didn't get any drugs until late on the fourth day. I tolerated that. I tolerated labor. I've tolerated all the pain that goes along with being a woman. I tolerated breast feeding, even when it was extremely uncomfortable. So, deep, deep down, I'm strong.
I don't cry much when it comes to physical pain. I didn't yell and scream during labor and delivery, because I was focused and working to hard to stay in control of my body. I knew that was the best way to help my babies and myself.
My husband saw all of these things. He saw the strength that I didn't even know I had. I tapped into something that I hoped I would have, but wasn't sure. I prepared. I knew about everything that could and would happen, from an intellectual standpoint. That was enough. I also knew, on a spiritual/emotional level, that everything was going to be okay. I knew I would live and that my babies would be healthy. I also knew that I would accept my babies in any form, healthy or otherwise. I'm not sure how I knew that. I just did. All of those things came to fruition. I recovered beautifully. The boys were both healthy, strong, beautiful little beings. I had my proof. My husband became the kind of father I dreamed about, and then he even exceeded those expectations. All the worry and fear went away. Relief set in.
Therefore, when I have my surgery in one month, I know I will be able to tolerate the pain and fear. I will tolerate the uncomfortable recovery. I will feel so much better when it's over. Relief will set in, again.
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