Lost in the Fog
This is both literal and metaphorical. It's a real pea-souper here in Cincinnati this morning. When I woke up at 4:45, I could hardly see anything but the street lights. The other homes in the neighborhood were shadowy forms with little halos of light on their porches. It was quite beautiful.
I woke up so early because I could have sworn I heard someone knock on our front door! I shot up out of bed and listened intently. Nothing. I went to the bathroom and tried to go back to sleep, but that wasn't happening. So, I went downstairs to investigate. The boys were still sleeping. There weren't any lights on. The house was completely quiet. Still, I went to the front door and looked out the side windows. Nothing.
I started to regain my composure. I assumed I must have been dreaming when I heard the knock, or that one of the boys had gotten up to use the bathroom and closed his door loudly. Something rational. Anything rational. Being rational is hard at 4:45 AM, when you're not quite awake.
I had a dream about my mother. She was about the same age that I am now. In fact, in the dream, we were both 40 years old. I was working on a project with some unknown people and my children were both there. My mom was trying to help, but I didn't like what she was saying. I don't even know exactly what she said, but I didn't like her tone or the look on her face.
So, I asked her to step out into the hallway and I told her that she couldn't work with us on the project anymore. She was shocked. She asked, 'Why?' I told her it was because no one wanted her there. She looked devastated. I said I was very sorry, but that I needed to do this without her. She left.
That's when I thought I heard the knock. The dream is still with me. I know exactly what my subconscious brain was trying to figure out. My parents came over for dinner last Saturday night. My mom was trying to help. She brought cupcakes and wine. She played with my boys and read stories to Kieran. She offered the best parts of herself to my children and we had a lovely conversation.
It took a turn for the worse when I noticed that she had engaged my husband in a political conversation. I had already asked her not to discuss politics with him because he had had a very bad day. His face was set and he would not make eye contact with her. I politely asked her, again, to stop the political talk. She laughed, but she didn't like it. She continued to make political comments. I yelled at her. No one liked that. I didn't even like it. So, I did the dishes while everyone else dispersed to do other things. Bill spoke with my dad. My mom played with the boys.
In the dream, I was telling my mom that she needed to leave. In real life, she did leave. She went home to her own house, with my dad. It's a good thing that we all have our own homes now. We're not angry with each other. We parted on good terms. We're growing up.
The fog has lifted, both literally and figuratively. It's now 10:56 AM. I had an amazing call with a musician friend. He agreed to let me use his music for my movie. It's all coming together now. I wrote several scenes, that flow along with the tracks of his latest albums. It all came together very quickly and easily.
The fog will lift. The sun will shine. It's happening.
I woke up so early because I could have sworn I heard someone knock on our front door! I shot up out of bed and listened intently. Nothing. I went to the bathroom and tried to go back to sleep, but that wasn't happening. So, I went downstairs to investigate. The boys were still sleeping. There weren't any lights on. The house was completely quiet. Still, I went to the front door and looked out the side windows. Nothing.
I started to regain my composure. I assumed I must have been dreaming when I heard the knock, or that one of the boys had gotten up to use the bathroom and closed his door loudly. Something rational. Anything rational. Being rational is hard at 4:45 AM, when you're not quite awake.
I had a dream about my mother. She was about the same age that I am now. In fact, in the dream, we were both 40 years old. I was working on a project with some unknown people and my children were both there. My mom was trying to help, but I didn't like what she was saying. I don't even know exactly what she said, but I didn't like her tone or the look on her face.
So, I asked her to step out into the hallway and I told her that she couldn't work with us on the project anymore. She was shocked. She asked, 'Why?' I told her it was because no one wanted her there. She looked devastated. I said I was very sorry, but that I needed to do this without her. She left.
That's when I thought I heard the knock. The dream is still with me. I know exactly what my subconscious brain was trying to figure out. My parents came over for dinner last Saturday night. My mom was trying to help. She brought cupcakes and wine. She played with my boys and read stories to Kieran. She offered the best parts of herself to my children and we had a lovely conversation.
It took a turn for the worse when I noticed that she had engaged my husband in a political conversation. I had already asked her not to discuss politics with him because he had had a very bad day. His face was set and he would not make eye contact with her. I politely asked her, again, to stop the political talk. She laughed, but she didn't like it. She continued to make political comments. I yelled at her. No one liked that. I didn't even like it. So, I did the dishes while everyone else dispersed to do other things. Bill spoke with my dad. My mom played with the boys.
In the dream, I was telling my mom that she needed to leave. In real life, she did leave. She went home to her own house, with my dad. It's a good thing that we all have our own homes now. We're not angry with each other. We parted on good terms. We're growing up.
The fog has lifted, both literally and figuratively. It's now 10:56 AM. I had an amazing call with a musician friend. He agreed to let me use his music for my movie. It's all coming together now. I wrote several scenes, that flow along with the tracks of his latest albums. It all came together very quickly and easily.
The fog will lift. The sun will shine. It's happening.
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