A Necessary Apology
I started this blog almost four years ago. I haven't written consistently, but I have written 225 posts. I have published 90% of them. It's a really big body of work. I don't think I realized how big it was until I went back to read my first post this morning.
Wow, I was very blunt and extremely judgmental in the first year. If you choose to go back and read those posts, I'm going to apologize in advance. They're awfully harsh. Here's why: I was trying very hard to come to a decision about homeschooling and the kind of family life I wanted. I needed to be very sure. In order for me to do that, I felt the need to disapprove of the other ways people raise their children.
I'm beyond that now. I don't feel the need to condemn the people who have chosen a different path. I don't have very many homeschooling friends. Most of my friends and family choose to send their children to school and daycare. Most of my friends have very nice, intelligent, curious children.
One of my best friends, who also happens to be my neighbor, has a paying job. She works extremely hard. She's a good mom, good professional and a really good friend. The last thing I would ever want would be for her to think I'm constantly judging her abilities as a mother. We talk about these things all the time. She knows that I think she's a good mom. She knows I respect her choices, even though they're very different from my own.
I'm surprised she decided to remain my friend after I spouted off so much about homeschooling and staying home to raise my children. I'm so glad she did. We've been friends for more than ten years. She was at my house a couple of days ago and her boys played with my boys for hours, like they do several times a week. I consider her boys to be part of our extended family. I love them.
I love them more now than I did before. Her older son is twelve going on thirty. He smart, talented, comfortable being in charge and wants to be part of adult conversation. He's almost a man (biologically speaking). He plays the trombone. We had an excellent conversation about music while he was here. He tuned our our instruments, without being asked. He showed the boys what he was doing. He helped Kieran and kept an eye on everyone while they played. He handled a tough situation when my older son got a scrape. He knew what to do. I didn't have to be involved. I got to sit and have a three hour chat with my friend because I could rely on him. We had very few interruptions.
What a gift! It's like looking into the future. I already trust my boys to play by themselves. They go out into the neighborhood, all by themselves. They know where they're allowed to go. They know they have to tell me if they're going to someone else's house. They're trustworthy, but they're only four and seven. I still have to find a babysitter when my husband and I leave the house. Sheryl doesn't have to do that anymore! She can trust her older son to babysit her seven year old. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, I apologize to all the parents who may have been offended by my early posts. I don't think you're doing everything wrong. I think you're working just as hard as I do, in a different way. I think it's possible to have a good marriage, good jobs and still raise good kids. Thanks for sticking with me when I was being so adamant. I really appreciate your maturity.
Wow, I was very blunt and extremely judgmental in the first year. If you choose to go back and read those posts, I'm going to apologize in advance. They're awfully harsh. Here's why: I was trying very hard to come to a decision about homeschooling and the kind of family life I wanted. I needed to be very sure. In order for me to do that, I felt the need to disapprove of the other ways people raise their children.
I'm beyond that now. I don't feel the need to condemn the people who have chosen a different path. I don't have very many homeschooling friends. Most of my friends and family choose to send their children to school and daycare. Most of my friends have very nice, intelligent, curious children.
One of my best friends, who also happens to be my neighbor, has a paying job. She works extremely hard. She's a good mom, good professional and a really good friend. The last thing I would ever want would be for her to think I'm constantly judging her abilities as a mother. We talk about these things all the time. She knows that I think she's a good mom. She knows I respect her choices, even though they're very different from my own.
I'm surprised she decided to remain my friend after I spouted off so much about homeschooling and staying home to raise my children. I'm so glad she did. We've been friends for more than ten years. She was at my house a couple of days ago and her boys played with my boys for hours, like they do several times a week. I consider her boys to be part of our extended family. I love them.
I love them more now than I did before. Her older son is twelve going on thirty. He smart, talented, comfortable being in charge and wants to be part of adult conversation. He's almost a man (biologically speaking). He plays the trombone. We had an excellent conversation about music while he was here. He tuned our our instruments, without being asked. He showed the boys what he was doing. He helped Kieran and kept an eye on everyone while they played. He handled a tough situation when my older son got a scrape. He knew what to do. I didn't have to be involved. I got to sit and have a three hour chat with my friend because I could rely on him. We had very few interruptions.
What a gift! It's like looking into the future. I already trust my boys to play by themselves. They go out into the neighborhood, all by themselves. They know where they're allowed to go. They know they have to tell me if they're going to someone else's house. They're trustworthy, but they're only four and seven. I still have to find a babysitter when my husband and I leave the house. Sheryl doesn't have to do that anymore! She can trust her older son to babysit her seven year old. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, I apologize to all the parents who may have been offended by my early posts. I don't think you're doing everything wrong. I think you're working just as hard as I do, in a different way. I think it's possible to have a good marriage, good jobs and still raise good kids. Thanks for sticking with me when I was being so adamant. I really appreciate your maturity.
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