Feels Like Fate

The idea of fate
is one that I hate.
I'm in control.
It's not too late.

People come in.
They play a part.
Should I invite him
into my heart?

If he comes in,
he's there for life.
No matter the day
Whatever the strife.

It feels like fate.
Maybe it is.
I'm just not sure.
Won't pass the quiz.

The test of faith
I'm sure to fail.
It's flame is dim
and very pale.

When I'm sure
it's very clear.
You're the one.
It's you, my dear.

Do you ever wonder?
How do you KNOW?
It makes me crazy.
You work and grow.

You're up above.
My neck is sore
from straining to see.
It's such a chore.

You're living well,
but you won't admit
that we're two parts
that don't always fit.

You are complete.
You're perfectly whole.
You don't need me.
You have your goals.

You would be fine
without me here.
I would be lost.
That's my fear.

The dream I had
stays with me still.
Afraid to lose
Scared I'll kill.

Killed love before.
Stopped dead in it's tracks.
I've run away or
used other tacs.

I've manipulated
lied and cheated.
I've run away when
things got heated.

I'll never leave you.
I hope you know.
There's still a voice
that says you'll go.

That voice is there.
It's quieter still,
But shutting it out
requires some will.

I know you
and you know me.
We used to be two.
Now we are 'we'.

Will I fail you?
I hope not.
Will you get tired
of all my shots?

I fire at will.
I've taken you down.
Sometimes I want
to leave this town.

I'll never leave you.
But will you leave me?
Why can't I stop that?
What's wrong with me?

Why do I worry
that you won't be here;
that you don't know me?
That's really my fear.

That you'll discover
the ugliest parts.
Those terrible things
that hide in my heart.

There are only a few
that you haven't seen.
But they're the worst ones.
They're crazy and mean.

The problem's not you.
It's always been me.
If we crash and burn,
the proof you will see.

I'm just as crazy
as some people say.
I hope it won't happen.
I'll hold on today.

I won't let those voices
trap me this time.
I'll be with you
and things will be fine.

We have our boys.
This family of four.
Can't be this good!
Won't ask for more.

I'll take each day gladly
with 'thanks' on my lips.
But still need your help.
Could use a few tips.

Please, don't give up.
Please, won't you stay?
I will get better.
It's just one hard day.

The light's coming up.
The day's almost here.
The fear is subsiding.
And so are the tears.

Thank you, my love.
Thanks for the peace.
Thanks for the calm
and loving Elise.