Why Are You Sad?

I didn't realize that I was this sad.  Tears started streaming down my face while I wrote my last blog post.  Eventually, I had to acknowledge them.  I got up to blow my nose.  Before I could get to the bathroom, Soren said, 'Mom, why are you sad?'

I thought.  I almost said what I would usually say.  Something like, 'Oh, I'm not sad.  I'm okay.  I just need to blow my nose.'

Instead, I told the truth.  I said, 'Soren, I'm not sure exactly.  I think I'm very tired and my belly is hurting.  I don't have any more pain medication from the hospital.  I'm feeling kind of bad.'

'Oh.  I'm sorry you're not feeling well.  Can I give you a hug to make you feel a little better?'

I could hardly respond.  He stood up and put his little arms around me.  I held him and the tears poured out.  I thanked him.  I said, 'Thanks, buddy.  That really does help.'

'Are you crying happy tears now?  Do you need some more hugs?'

'Yeah, these are happy tears now.  I just learned something.  I learned that I can tell you the truth, even when I think I shouldn't worry you or upset you.'

'Good.  I'm not worried or sad.  I know you're okay.  You just need some time.'

Oh, my dear God.  How did I get this lucky?  This little person, who is only seven, just changed my entire day and the way I look at the world.  He didn't laugh at me or tell me not to cry.  He just accepted me and how I feel.  Man, that felt good.

'Yes, you're right.  I just need some time.  I'll be fine.  You're a very special person, Soren.  You're very good.'

'So are you, Mom.  So are you.'