Love Fiercely
A few weeks ago, my son, Soren, asked me who was most important to me. I said, "I am." He then followed up with, "Right, but who's the next most important."
"Hmm. That's a tough one. You, Kieran and Dad are all the most important. I can't pick one."
"Yeah, I have the same problem. As soon as I think I know who the most important one is, then I think of another and another."
"Well, that just means we're really lucky. We love a lot of people. We don't have to have just one favorite. They can all be important. That's how it works when you have a big family and lots of friends."
I got to thinking about that conversation. Our brains naturally want to categorize and rank things and people. For some reason, we want to have a best friend, a true love and all of that. However, once you have children, you realize you don't have to have a favorite. My sons are equally important to me, in very different ways. I love each of them very differently. I didn't think I could ever love anyone more than my husband and I don't. I don't love them more. I just love them all.
When I got pregnant with Kieran, I wondered if I would love him as much as I loved Soren. How would I make room in my heart for another child, when Soren took up all the room? Then, when Kieran was born, he made his own space. It's just as big as Soren's. My heart grew. It made room.
That's what we do. Our hearts grow right along with the number of people we love. We can let countless people into our hearts, or we can be very selective. I've been very open and I've been very closed. I'm finding a happy medium, now. I love hard. I love fiercely. I love forever.
How do you love?
"Hmm. That's a tough one. You, Kieran and Dad are all the most important. I can't pick one."
"Yeah, I have the same problem. As soon as I think I know who the most important one is, then I think of another and another."
"Well, that just means we're really lucky. We love a lot of people. We don't have to have just one favorite. They can all be important. That's how it works when you have a big family and lots of friends."
I got to thinking about that conversation. Our brains naturally want to categorize and rank things and people. For some reason, we want to have a best friend, a true love and all of that. However, once you have children, you realize you don't have to have a favorite. My sons are equally important to me, in very different ways. I love each of them very differently. I didn't think I could ever love anyone more than my husband and I don't. I don't love them more. I just love them all.
When I got pregnant with Kieran, I wondered if I would love him as much as I loved Soren. How would I make room in my heart for another child, when Soren took up all the room? Then, when Kieran was born, he made his own space. It's just as big as Soren's. My heart grew. It made room.
That's what we do. Our hearts grow right along with the number of people we love. We can let countless people into our hearts, or we can be very selective. I've been very open and I've been very closed. I'm finding a happy medium, now. I love hard. I love fiercely. I love forever.
How do you love?
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