'I love you, my love' and other rituals...
Every night when we put Soren to bed, we say, 'Good night, my love. I love you, my love.' This has been going on since I started saying it to him when he was a baby. I don't know why I chose those particular words or why I decided to say the same thing every night, but it has become an important part of the bedtime ritual at our house. Now, he says the words back to us. His little face looks up at me and says, 'I wuv you, my wuv.' Does it get better than that? I really don't think so.
Children love structure and routine. At about 7:30 PM every night, either my husband or I will take Soren upstairs. We alternate kids each night. Soren marches upstairs, brushes his teeth, goes to the potty and then we go up to his room. We pick out some pajamas, he chooses two books and gets under the covers. We turn on the nightlights (two stars, a moon and his dream lights). After reading the two books, we sing a few songs (usually 'Doe a Dear' and 'Edelweiss' and the 'Mystery Song', which is something he made up). Then, we put a hand on his forehead and tell him that we feel really good dreams floating around in there. That idea came to me because he was having nightmares and was afraid to go to sleep one night. I told him that if you think about fun things, you will probably have good dreams and that I could feel lots of fun dreams in his little head. Hugs and kisses are next, followed by a song as we walk to the door of his room. Then we say, 'I love you, my love. Good night, my love.' The entire process is finished by 8:00 PM.
To be honest, I didn't even realize I was doing exactly the same things every night. I usually can't stand routine and schedules. But, even I am a creature of habit. A few weeks ago, we asked our niece to babysit. When we got home, she told us that Soren had asked her to say, 'Good night, my love' and to feel his head for good dreams. I was so very happy to hear that. Not just because it was absolutely adorable, but because this routine matters to him. It makes a difference. We've created a lovely, comforting ritual for him and it makes him feel safe, loved and happy.
Children love structure and routine. At about 7:30 PM every night, either my husband or I will take Soren upstairs. We alternate kids each night. Soren marches upstairs, brushes his teeth, goes to the potty and then we go up to his room. We pick out some pajamas, he chooses two books and gets under the covers. We turn on the nightlights (two stars, a moon and his dream lights). After reading the two books, we sing a few songs (usually 'Doe a Dear' and 'Edelweiss' and the 'Mystery Song', which is something he made up). Then, we put a hand on his forehead and tell him that we feel really good dreams floating around in there. That idea came to me because he was having nightmares and was afraid to go to sleep one night. I told him that if you think about fun things, you will probably have good dreams and that I could feel lots of fun dreams in his little head. Hugs and kisses are next, followed by a song as we walk to the door of his room. Then we say, 'I love you, my love. Good night, my love.' The entire process is finished by 8:00 PM.
To be honest, I didn't even realize I was doing exactly the same things every night. I usually can't stand routine and schedules. But, even I am a creature of habit. A few weeks ago, we asked our niece to babysit. When we got home, she told us that Soren had asked her to say, 'Good night, my love' and to feel his head for good dreams. I was so very happy to hear that. Not just because it was absolutely adorable, but because this routine matters to him. It makes a difference. We've created a lovely, comforting ritual for him and it makes him feel safe, loved and happy.
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