Worries and Wasted Time
I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of person. So, if I choose to worry about something, I can whip myself into a frenzy of anxiety very quickly. Notice that I said, 'if I choose to worry'. It is a choice. All of our emotions and our actions happen because we choose to let them or make them happen. This has been one of the most difficult concepts for me to embrace, but now that I have, life has gotten so much easier. Not only can I choose how to react to my own emotions, I can choose the emotions that I want to have and express. Control is a beautiful thing.
I used to ride the wave of my emotions as if they were something happening 'to me', rather than something I chose. I was ruled by their ups and downs and inflicted quite a bit of pain on myself in the process. I was a theatre major. Drama was my life.
Now I've learned that drama is rarely fun. It's much more fun to decide how I'm going to feel and behave. It's also easier on my friends and family. Don't get me wrong, I still cry at the drop of a hat and I am given to bursts of loud laughter, but it's because I choose it. I love experiencing the wide range of emotional opportunity that exists in this world.
However, the one part that I'm still getting used to is controlling the worry. As a mom, this is a tough battle. I think about every possible negative outcome before doing something new with my kids. However, I truly think that a little worry is good. It can lead to good planning, avoiding horrible situations and reminds you of what's really important. However, the important thing is to be able to turn the worry off when I know that my kids are safe, happy and healthy in any given situation. For example, I no longer worry about my boys when they are with their grandparents or other family members. They're happy, well cared for and the people in charge are people I love and trust. No worries. I also no longer worry about Soren when he goes to his preschool. Again, he's happy, well cared for and the people in charge are people I trust.
I'm expanding my 'circle of trust'. Soren now takes swimming lessons at the Y. I watch him through the windows because parents aren't allowed in the pool area. I'm also comfortable with Soren going to their child watch program because he loves it and I can see what's going on in there anytime I want to.
When my husband and I first left Soren overnight, I was a sobbing mess while we drove to Chicago. Soren spent the night with my sister and her family, and I completely trust them, but my baby and I had never been apart for that long. He was 10 months old. It's funny how things change with your second child because Kieran has already been on two overnights, starting when he was about 7 months. I really don't worry about them on overnights anymore. I'm happy to see them the next day, but I'm not panicked.
The things I worry about now are very different. I worry about their education. I think about how I'm going to make sure they learn the things they need to learn because I know our education system won't do it. I think about how to prepare them for the world. I think about how I will ensure that they have a wonderful childhood while learning every day. I know this isn't new. Many parents feel the same way. This is productive worry. It's productive because it leads to action. I worried about the state of our schools, so I researched alternative methods of educating my kids. I worried about the kinds of socialist propaganda my children would be exposed to, so I teach them about the value of the individual and the protection of individual rights. It is my job to debunk the myths and fight the societal indoctrination.
If worry leads to positive action, it's not wasted time. If you choose to sit and worry about things that are beyond your control, you are guilty of wasting your own time. Time, our only nonrenewable resource! If you worry about things that are within your control and you choose to do nothing, not only are you squandering your precious time, you're lazy.
I used to ride the wave of my emotions as if they were something happening 'to me', rather than something I chose. I was ruled by their ups and downs and inflicted quite a bit of pain on myself in the process. I was a theatre major. Drama was my life.
Now I've learned that drama is rarely fun. It's much more fun to decide how I'm going to feel and behave. It's also easier on my friends and family. Don't get me wrong, I still cry at the drop of a hat and I am given to bursts of loud laughter, but it's because I choose it. I love experiencing the wide range of emotional opportunity that exists in this world.
However, the one part that I'm still getting used to is controlling the worry. As a mom, this is a tough battle. I think about every possible negative outcome before doing something new with my kids. However, I truly think that a little worry is good. It can lead to good planning, avoiding horrible situations and reminds you of what's really important. However, the important thing is to be able to turn the worry off when I know that my kids are safe, happy and healthy in any given situation. For example, I no longer worry about my boys when they are with their grandparents or other family members. They're happy, well cared for and the people in charge are people I love and trust. No worries. I also no longer worry about Soren when he goes to his preschool. Again, he's happy, well cared for and the people in charge are people I trust.
I'm expanding my 'circle of trust'. Soren now takes swimming lessons at the Y. I watch him through the windows because parents aren't allowed in the pool area. I'm also comfortable with Soren going to their child watch program because he loves it and I can see what's going on in there anytime I want to.
When my husband and I first left Soren overnight, I was a sobbing mess while we drove to Chicago. Soren spent the night with my sister and her family, and I completely trust them, but my baby and I had never been apart for that long. He was 10 months old. It's funny how things change with your second child because Kieran has already been on two overnights, starting when he was about 7 months. I really don't worry about them on overnights anymore. I'm happy to see them the next day, but I'm not panicked.
The things I worry about now are very different. I worry about their education. I think about how I'm going to make sure they learn the things they need to learn because I know our education system won't do it. I think about how to prepare them for the world. I think about how I will ensure that they have a wonderful childhood while learning every day. I know this isn't new. Many parents feel the same way. This is productive worry. It's productive because it leads to action. I worried about the state of our schools, so I researched alternative methods of educating my kids. I worried about the kinds of socialist propaganda my children would be exposed to, so I teach them about the value of the individual and the protection of individual rights. It is my job to debunk the myths and fight the societal indoctrination.
If worry leads to positive action, it's not wasted time. If you choose to sit and worry about things that are beyond your control, you are guilty of wasting your own time. Time, our only nonrenewable resource! If you worry about things that are within your control and you choose to do nothing, not only are you squandering your precious time, you're lazy.
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