What if I don't want to be a full-time parent?
It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't address this particular question. I only answered the questions about not being able to afford to stay home. What about all of those women and men who just love their jobs and have no desire to stay home and raise their children? To this group of individuals, my response is, 'Why do you want to have children in the first place?' If you work 50 hours a week, that means you only spend a couple hours a day with your children before they should be in bed. Don't even get me started on parents who keep their babies up until 10:00 PM because they don't get to spend enough time with them during the day.
Yes, you have your weekends, but if both parents are working then those weekends are spent cleaning, running errands, taking care of the yard, doing laundry and taking care of all the chores that a full-time parent can manage during the week. That doesn't sound like much 'quality time' to me.
That phrase, 'quality time' is extremely popular right now. I get the idea, but I think I have to throw the BS card again. We all get 24 hours every day. We all have to choose how to spend our time. Every hour is important. I read an article recently that was trying to make part-time parents feel less guilty. In it, the author proposed that part-time parents actually spend more quality time with their children than full-time parents. WHAT? The idea was that, since these parents are better off financially, they can really focus on the kids when they are home, when the full-time parent has all of the chores I mentioned above. Really? Nice try. Perhaps it would be helpful if I did I breakdown of a typical day at my house so that part-time parents, or people who have yet to become parents can understand how one full-time parent does it.
My Day:
5:30 AM - The baby wakes up. I change the baby, and feed him a bottle. (I breastfed exclusively for 6 months)
6:15 AM - The 3-year-old wakes up. My husband brings him downstairs and we get breakfast together for him.
7:30 AM - My husband goes to work. I feed the baby his cereal.
8:00 AM - Help the 3-year-old get dressed and ready for preschool.
8:15 AM - Dress the baby and myself.
8:45 AM - Take the big boy to preschool on Wednesdays and Thursdays.
9:00 AM - Take the baby on a 3 mile walk at the park.
10:00 AM - Go home, feed the baby a bottle and put him down for a nap.
10:30 AM - Take shower, get ready for the rest of the day.
11:30 AM - Feed the baby his lunch and go pick up the big boy from preschool.
12:15 PM - Go home and make lunch for everyone.
1:00 PM - Take care of some chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
2:00 PM - Put big boy down for a nap.
3:00 PM - Put baby down for a nap.
3:15 PM - Write. Blog, stories, poems, journals, etc.
4:30 PM - Both boys are usually awake by now. Time to start dinner.
5:30 PM - Eat dinner with the family.
6:30 PM - Start bed time routine for the baby (usually me)
7:00 PM - Start bed time routine for the big boy (usually my husband)
7:30 PM - Finish folding the laundry, doing the dishes and general cleanup.
8:30 PM - Relax with my husband for an hour or so before passing out on the couch.
It's a very busy day. On days when the big boy doesn't have preschool, we have more freedom and flexibility to go on our own adventures and to explore our world. That will especially be true this summer when preschool is over. We will go to the YMCA, the library, the zoo, the parks and we will visit friends and family. We will also continue to work on 'School Stuff', as my older son calls it. This means, numbers, letters, writing, reading, simple arithmetic, shapes, story telling, painting, music, drawing, etc. My son's preschool is Montessori and that is my approach, as well. If you aren't familiar with this method, the essence is that you follow the child's natural curiosity and encourage him to discover things on his own.
So, if you had any question in your mind about what a full-time parent might be doing with his or her time, I hope this clears things up a bit.
Yes, you have your weekends, but if both parents are working then those weekends are spent cleaning, running errands, taking care of the yard, doing laundry and taking care of all the chores that a full-time parent can manage during the week. That doesn't sound like much 'quality time' to me.
That phrase, 'quality time' is extremely popular right now. I get the idea, but I think I have to throw the BS card again. We all get 24 hours every day. We all have to choose how to spend our time. Every hour is important. I read an article recently that was trying to make part-time parents feel less guilty. In it, the author proposed that part-time parents actually spend more quality time with their children than full-time parents. WHAT? The idea was that, since these parents are better off financially, they can really focus on the kids when they are home, when the full-time parent has all of the chores I mentioned above. Really? Nice try. Perhaps it would be helpful if I did I breakdown of a typical day at my house so that part-time parents, or people who have yet to become parents can understand how one full-time parent does it.
My Day:
5:30 AM - The baby wakes up. I change the baby, and feed him a bottle. (I breastfed exclusively for 6 months)
6:15 AM - The 3-year-old wakes up. My husband brings him downstairs and we get breakfast together for him.
7:30 AM - My husband goes to work. I feed the baby his cereal.
8:00 AM - Help the 3-year-old get dressed and ready for preschool.
8:15 AM - Dress the baby and myself.
8:45 AM - Take the big boy to preschool on Wednesdays and Thursdays.
9:00 AM - Take the baby on a 3 mile walk at the park.
10:00 AM - Go home, feed the baby a bottle and put him down for a nap.
10:30 AM - Take shower, get ready for the rest of the day.
11:30 AM - Feed the baby his lunch and go pick up the big boy from preschool.
12:15 PM - Go home and make lunch for everyone.
1:00 PM - Take care of some chores (laundry, cleaning, etc.)
2:00 PM - Put big boy down for a nap.
3:00 PM - Put baby down for a nap.
3:15 PM - Write. Blog, stories, poems, journals, etc.
4:30 PM - Both boys are usually awake by now. Time to start dinner.
5:30 PM - Eat dinner with the family.
6:30 PM - Start bed time routine for the baby (usually me)
7:00 PM - Start bed time routine for the big boy (usually my husband)
7:30 PM - Finish folding the laundry, doing the dishes and general cleanup.
8:30 PM - Relax with my husband for an hour or so before passing out on the couch.
It's a very busy day. On days when the big boy doesn't have preschool, we have more freedom and flexibility to go on our own adventures and to explore our world. That will especially be true this summer when preschool is over. We will go to the YMCA, the library, the zoo, the parks and we will visit friends and family. We will also continue to work on 'School Stuff', as my older son calls it. This means, numbers, letters, writing, reading, simple arithmetic, shapes, story telling, painting, music, drawing, etc. My son's preschool is Montessori and that is my approach, as well. If you aren't familiar with this method, the essence is that you follow the child's natural curiosity and encourage him to discover things on his own.
So, if you had any question in your mind about what a full-time parent might be doing with his or her time, I hope this clears things up a bit.
Comments
Post a Comment