Don't count your chickens...
I was feeling great about today. My sons were being wonderful and I was getting a lot done! I got the baby down for his afternoon nap and then it was time for the big boy to go up for his 'rest'. (Big boys don't need naps, Mom.) So, I said, 'It's two o'clock, time to go up for a rest.' He looks at me and says, 'No, I'm not going to.' We don't usually have a lot of arguments, so I just said, 'Oh, yes, please go up to your room now.' He put his hands on his hips and said, 'NO! I'm not going to!'
I then remembered my 'Parenting with Love and Logic' book. I highly recommend it, by the way. I said, 'Well, you have two choices. You can walk up the stairs to your room by yourself, or I can carry you.' He said, 'I don't want those choices!' I said, 'Well, then I have to choose for you and I will now carry you to your room.' I picked him up under one arm and carried him up the two flights of stairs to his bedroom. (That was my weight training for the day. Cleaning was my cardio.) He didn't yell. He didn't scream. I think he was very surprised because I don't usually have to resort to this kind of thing.
When we got to his room (which is directly next to his father's office) I told him to be quiet, take a rest and not to disturb Daddy. I then closed the door. He started yelling that I am a bad mother and a bad lady and he's not going to take a nap. He called me 'poop'. He said he was going to break all of his toys. I went in and told him he had to be quiet or he would have to stay in his room longer. I also told him that he had my permission to break all of his toys, as long as he understands that no one will buy him any new toys. I left the room and closed the door behind me. He's being quiet, but I have been watching him on our video monitor. I think he broke his batman cave. Oh, well.
So, if anyone was worried that I might be getting full of myself, please take it off your list. As a parent of a preschooler and an infant, it is absolutely impossible to get too full of yourself. They provide a constant reality check. I know I'm not a 'bad mother' or a 'bad lady', but I also know that every system is perfectly designed to get the results that it gets. Maybe my son was overly tired. Maybe he's getting to the age that naps aren't going to be necessary. Maybe he just decided that he's tired of being told what to do. Regardless, he is not allowed to be rude to me. He is not allowed to be disrespectful. He must do as I ask. I wouldn't ask him to do something unless it was good for him or the right thing to do.
Okay, I'm starting to feel a little better. Remember, issues will come up. Your children will test you. How do you handle the issue and how quickly can you resolve it? I'm proud of myself because I remained calm. I didn't yell. I didn't say anything that I might regret. That's a win, as far as I'm concerned. Especially when my instincts were telling me to yell and yell and yell some more...
I then remembered my 'Parenting with Love and Logic' book. I highly recommend it, by the way. I said, 'Well, you have two choices. You can walk up the stairs to your room by yourself, or I can carry you.' He said, 'I don't want those choices!' I said, 'Well, then I have to choose for you and I will now carry you to your room.' I picked him up under one arm and carried him up the two flights of stairs to his bedroom. (That was my weight training for the day. Cleaning was my cardio.) He didn't yell. He didn't scream. I think he was very surprised because I don't usually have to resort to this kind of thing.
When we got to his room (which is directly next to his father's office) I told him to be quiet, take a rest and not to disturb Daddy. I then closed the door. He started yelling that I am a bad mother and a bad lady and he's not going to take a nap. He called me 'poop'. He said he was going to break all of his toys. I went in and told him he had to be quiet or he would have to stay in his room longer. I also told him that he had my permission to break all of his toys, as long as he understands that no one will buy him any new toys. I left the room and closed the door behind me. He's being quiet, but I have been watching him on our video monitor. I think he broke his batman cave. Oh, well.
So, if anyone was worried that I might be getting full of myself, please take it off your list. As a parent of a preschooler and an infant, it is absolutely impossible to get too full of yourself. They provide a constant reality check. I know I'm not a 'bad mother' or a 'bad lady', but I also know that every system is perfectly designed to get the results that it gets. Maybe my son was overly tired. Maybe he's getting to the age that naps aren't going to be necessary. Maybe he just decided that he's tired of being told what to do. Regardless, he is not allowed to be rude to me. He is not allowed to be disrespectful. He must do as I ask. I wouldn't ask him to do something unless it was good for him or the right thing to do.
Okay, I'm starting to feel a little better. Remember, issues will come up. Your children will test you. How do you handle the issue and how quickly can you resolve it? I'm proud of myself because I remained calm. I didn't yell. I didn't say anything that I might regret. That's a win, as far as I'm concerned. Especially when my instincts were telling me to yell and yell and yell some more...
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