First Day Back... to the Grind!
Ok, so end-of-vaction-depression is absolutely a real thing. It's hard to stop having fun and get back to your normal work, even if you really love your normal work, as I do. I love homeschooling my boys in our new house with the great classroom space. I love cooking. I don't love cleaning, but it's not that bad. That being said, by the time my husband got home from work today, I thought I was going off the deep end. I was yelling and angry and mean. My husband had no idea what he was walking into. That's why it's better for everyone that he took the boys outside to play after dinner. I needed some quiet time to myself.
If I'm honest, I'll admit I did overreact. Yes, the boys were misbehaving and messing with each other and Kieran had a total meltdown due to water on his shirt. Oh, and he spilled the water on his shirt completely on purpose. I watched it happen. Then, when I told him it would dry and he didn't need a clean shirt, he proceeded to throw the biggest tantrum I've ever seen. It was complete madness. So, I sent him to his room. You can have that tantrum in your room, but you sure as heck can't have it in the living room where I have to listen to it. And, I'm surely not going to get you a clean shirt now, because you're behaving like a maniac.
That went on for about an hour. Soren got caught in the crossfire a little bit, but he was saying he was scared of the bugs outside and needed to come in. Ok, it's a gorgeous fall day, it's in the 70's and there are a few bugs still flying around, but not many. It's not like we live in a tropical jungle where the bugs are as big as your head! It's the suburban Midwest, for cryin' out loud. So, I told him to stop whining. He could stay outside or go to his room. I just couldn't take anymore whining!
So, he chose his room. When I finally let them both come down, and put Kieran's clothes back on (the same wet ones, NOT clean ones), they wanted to shoot baskets. Great idea! I'll finish making dinner, you shoot hoops. So, they were playing for all of 32 seconds when Soren starts whining again saying, 'Ow, Kieran! That hurt!' I just kept cooking. Soren came in and told me that Kieran hit him. I said he better go work it out for himself because I have no more energy. I eventually ended up separating them AGAIN because they were fighting.
Things were relatively calm when my husband came home, so he had no idea what kind of tension was flowing just beneath the surface. So, when Soren was acting a little silly at the dinner table and not eating anything, I told him to leave the table. When Soren kept talking to me, I said he had to go to his room because I didn't want to hear him anymore, or something like that. I yelled it, pretty loudly. Bill was surprised. He said frowned and said, 'That was a little hard.'
So, I unleashed my seething wrath on him, too. I told him he had no business judging my behavior when he had no idea what led up to my outburst. I told him it would be the same as me overhearing one of his business conversations and saying that he shouldn't have said what he said. He didn't see it that way. He said I was bundling my premises, but I really don't think I was. My work is educating and raising our sons. So, when I do or say something, it's usually for a reason. I'm not completely irrational. Emotional, yes, but not irrational. Bill knows this. He didn't argue any further, but I know he thinks I'm wrong. We probably won't discuss it any further. After seven years of marriage and two children, things can get heated and sort of just cool down on their own. I used to think you had to sit down and talk out every disagreement or minor disturbance in the force so that we could get 'closure' and 'resolution'. That's really not necessary anymore. Usually it blows over, or one of us says, 'I'm sorry.' Then the other person says the same.
So, what is the point here? I guess it's that I want to write on the bad days, too. I don't want to paint a flawless, perfect picture, because that would be completely inaccurate. I love my children and my husband. I love our lifestyle. That being said, sometimes I still want to send those boys far, far away. (To clarify, that's just the kids, not my husband.)
My Grammy was the one who told me to write, even on the bad days. She knew I would have them, because we all do. It's pretending that we don't that annoys our friends, family and readers. Well, this one's for you, Grammy.
I actually feel a lot better now.
If I'm honest, I'll admit I did overreact. Yes, the boys were misbehaving and messing with each other and Kieran had a total meltdown due to water on his shirt. Oh, and he spilled the water on his shirt completely on purpose. I watched it happen. Then, when I told him it would dry and he didn't need a clean shirt, he proceeded to throw the biggest tantrum I've ever seen. It was complete madness. So, I sent him to his room. You can have that tantrum in your room, but you sure as heck can't have it in the living room where I have to listen to it. And, I'm surely not going to get you a clean shirt now, because you're behaving like a maniac.
That went on for about an hour. Soren got caught in the crossfire a little bit, but he was saying he was scared of the bugs outside and needed to come in. Ok, it's a gorgeous fall day, it's in the 70's and there are a few bugs still flying around, but not many. It's not like we live in a tropical jungle where the bugs are as big as your head! It's the suburban Midwest, for cryin' out loud. So, I told him to stop whining. He could stay outside or go to his room. I just couldn't take anymore whining!
So, he chose his room. When I finally let them both come down, and put Kieran's clothes back on (the same wet ones, NOT clean ones), they wanted to shoot baskets. Great idea! I'll finish making dinner, you shoot hoops. So, they were playing for all of 32 seconds when Soren starts whining again saying, 'Ow, Kieran! That hurt!' I just kept cooking. Soren came in and told me that Kieran hit him. I said he better go work it out for himself because I have no more energy. I eventually ended up separating them AGAIN because they were fighting.
Things were relatively calm when my husband came home, so he had no idea what kind of tension was flowing just beneath the surface. So, when Soren was acting a little silly at the dinner table and not eating anything, I told him to leave the table. When Soren kept talking to me, I said he had to go to his room because I didn't want to hear him anymore, or something like that. I yelled it, pretty loudly. Bill was surprised. He said frowned and said, 'That was a little hard.'
So, I unleashed my seething wrath on him, too. I told him he had no business judging my behavior when he had no idea what led up to my outburst. I told him it would be the same as me overhearing one of his business conversations and saying that he shouldn't have said what he said. He didn't see it that way. He said I was bundling my premises, but I really don't think I was. My work is educating and raising our sons. So, when I do or say something, it's usually for a reason. I'm not completely irrational. Emotional, yes, but not irrational. Bill knows this. He didn't argue any further, but I know he thinks I'm wrong. We probably won't discuss it any further. After seven years of marriage and two children, things can get heated and sort of just cool down on their own. I used to think you had to sit down and talk out every disagreement or minor disturbance in the force so that we could get 'closure' and 'resolution'. That's really not necessary anymore. Usually it blows over, or one of us says, 'I'm sorry.' Then the other person says the same.
So, what is the point here? I guess it's that I want to write on the bad days, too. I don't want to paint a flawless, perfect picture, because that would be completely inaccurate. I love my children and my husband. I love our lifestyle. That being said, sometimes I still want to send those boys far, far away. (To clarify, that's just the kids, not my husband.)
My Grammy was the one who told me to write, even on the bad days. She knew I would have them, because we all do. It's pretending that we don't that annoys our friends, family and readers. Well, this one's for you, Grammy.
I actually feel a lot better now.
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