Rise and Shine!
It's 5:30 AM. I've been awake for about an hour and I'm not sure why. I got about six hours of sleep, so I guess my body was just ready to wake up. My grandmother said she always got up at 5:00 so maybe it's genetic. The difference was that she actually had to get up that early. She had 8 children and my grandfather was gone during the week. He traveled a lot for his job. So, she would get up at 5:00, while her children were still sleeping. She said it was the only time she had to get anything done without interruptions. She had to do laundry (with an old-fashioned washing machine), do the ironing, clean the house and make breakfast. Then, when the children started waking up, she would have to change diapers, feed babies, get the older kids some breakfast, make sure school-age kids were ready to walk to school, etc. My grandmother is 92 now, and she doesn't have to get up that early. She doesn't have to do all the work associated with being a stay-at-home-mom (in those days, they just called them 'moms') to eight children in the 1950's. But, I know she still gets up pretty early because she's just used to it. Now she wakes up to a quiet house. She can make herself some coffee, read a book (her favorite thing) or just enjoy the silence. That's what I did this morning, for a little while. I made some coffee, turned on the fireplace and just sat in my living room listening to the quiet. My boys were still sleeping and it was so peaceful.
Then, a few minutes ago, my Kieran woke up and needed help in the bathroom and fresh clothes because his diaper leaked. I started some laundry and changed his sheets. Then we came downstairs together and I got him his cereal and milk. He's watching 'Little Einsteins' while I try to finish this post. I'm sure his brother will be up any minute, even though they spent the day at their grandparents' house and we didn't get them to bed until 9:00! They're ALWAYS up by 6:00.
My husband and I have adjusted pretty well to the early mornings. We usually take turns getting up with the boys, but lately I've been waking up before everyone. I don't mind. I guess I enjoy having a little time alone to think my own thoughts, have some coffee and write. It feels luxurious, actually, to be all alone in a quiet house. It reminds me of being single in an apartment with no one to need me. Then again, I was also pretty lonely during that time. I'm not lonely now. Ever. Even when I'm up before everyone else, I know they're upstairs and I know they'll soon be awake to join me.
Last night, when I kissed Soren good night, he said that I could sleep with him, if I want to. I said, 'Thank you, but I think I'll sleep in my own bed, with Daddy.' He said, 'Ok, but you're welcome any time, if you change your mind.' It was such a lovely invitation. I think both my boys miss sleeping together, like they did on vacation. Kieran really wanted to sleep in Soren's room when we first got home. He gets lonely in his room. Soren told me that sometimes they have 'sleepovers'. Kieran will come into Soren's room in the wee hours of the morning and climb into bed with him. I love to see their relationship develop. Soren teaches Kieran. Kieran loves to learn. They pretend all sorts of crazy things and run around my house like barbarians (or super heroes, astronauts, cowboys, policemen, etc.) They fight. Kieran has become quite physically aggressive and we've had some biting, kicking and punching. Soren is very hesitant to fight back, but I gave him permission to do just that. He's half a head taller than Kieran and three years older. I told Soren that, if Kieran hits him, Soren has my permission to push Kieran down. Soren wasn't sure about that. He usually just comes to tell me if Kieran hurts him. That's fine, and Kieran does get punished if he hurts anyone, but Soren needs to learn to stand up for himself. He can't let himself get pushed around, especially not by his little brother. Kieran needs to understand that other kids won't be as understanding as his big brother. If he hits a bigger kid on the playground, that kid might just flatten him.
So, after punishing Kieran for the third time in one day and having the conversation about self-defense with Soren, I witnessed the instruction being put into action. I was in the kitchen, making soup. Soren and Kieran were playing in the living room. Kieran started bumping into Soren and shoving him and just generally messing with him. Soren told him to stop. Kieran didn't stop. So, Soren shoved Kieran, who landed on his butt. Kieran didn't cry. He didn't even get angry. He just looked surprised. They moved on and continued playing. It was over. No whining, no crying and no one going to their room.
Look, I'm not advocating violent behavior. Nor am I saying that I want my boys to be rough all the time. However, I've noticed that these boys are very physical beings. Kieran is even more physical than Soren. I don't want or expect them to be quiet and calm all the time.
When I told my dad about these incidents, he wasn't surprised at all. He was the oldest of the 8 children I mentioned earlier. He has 3 brothers and 4 sisters. He and his brothers fought and my dad was always the biggest and strongest. There was a pecking order in that house. Parents were at the top, then my dad, then everybody else. He was put in charge of his siblings when he was only 8 years old and my grandmother had to go for a walk to clear her head and get away from the kids for a bit. He was her support when his father was gone, which was most of the time. She relied on him. He was responsible because he had to be. His brothers and sisters didn't always like that. I'm sure they didn't think it was fair, especially when he's only 14 months older than the next boy. He tells the story about when he and his younger brother were playing 'King of the Mountain' and his brother was about to win, so my dad knocked him down. Hard. I think my Uncle Drew broke his arm or something traumatic like that. Needless to say, that did some damage to the relationship.
My Soren doesn't have those kinds of responsibilities because we only have two children. It was the same for me. I'm the oldest of two girls. There are almost five years between my sister and I, so we didn't really compete. We're also so different that we didn't need to fight much when we were little. I was usually in charge. She was usually happy to play what I wanted to play. But, if I got too bossy or annoying, she would let me know. If I did something mean, she would get me back. It's just normal sibling stuff. Soren and Kieran have very different personalities, too. Soren is a born leader. He's outgoing, loves to talk, and is happy almost all of the time. Kieran is more physical, also loves to talk and is very quick to anger. VERY quick. Kieran loves to sing and is moved by music in a way that I've never seen little children be moved. Soren likes music and wants to listen and sing along with radio and writes his own songs. Soren is all about math, science and technology, too. He wants to be Iron Man when he grows up. Who am I to argue with that? I think he can do anything he chooses to do, if he's willing to work hard.
I can't wait to see the kind of men my boys will become. They're already such interesting people and bring so much joy to so many.
Then, a few minutes ago, my Kieran woke up and needed help in the bathroom and fresh clothes because his diaper leaked. I started some laundry and changed his sheets. Then we came downstairs together and I got him his cereal and milk. He's watching 'Little Einsteins' while I try to finish this post. I'm sure his brother will be up any minute, even though they spent the day at their grandparents' house and we didn't get them to bed until 9:00! They're ALWAYS up by 6:00.
My husband and I have adjusted pretty well to the early mornings. We usually take turns getting up with the boys, but lately I've been waking up before everyone. I don't mind. I guess I enjoy having a little time alone to think my own thoughts, have some coffee and write. It feels luxurious, actually, to be all alone in a quiet house. It reminds me of being single in an apartment with no one to need me. Then again, I was also pretty lonely during that time. I'm not lonely now. Ever. Even when I'm up before everyone else, I know they're upstairs and I know they'll soon be awake to join me.
Last night, when I kissed Soren good night, he said that I could sleep with him, if I want to. I said, 'Thank you, but I think I'll sleep in my own bed, with Daddy.' He said, 'Ok, but you're welcome any time, if you change your mind.' It was such a lovely invitation. I think both my boys miss sleeping together, like they did on vacation. Kieran really wanted to sleep in Soren's room when we first got home. He gets lonely in his room. Soren told me that sometimes they have 'sleepovers'. Kieran will come into Soren's room in the wee hours of the morning and climb into bed with him. I love to see their relationship develop. Soren teaches Kieran. Kieran loves to learn. They pretend all sorts of crazy things and run around my house like barbarians (or super heroes, astronauts, cowboys, policemen, etc.) They fight. Kieran has become quite physically aggressive and we've had some biting, kicking and punching. Soren is very hesitant to fight back, but I gave him permission to do just that. He's half a head taller than Kieran and three years older. I told Soren that, if Kieran hits him, Soren has my permission to push Kieran down. Soren wasn't sure about that. He usually just comes to tell me if Kieran hurts him. That's fine, and Kieran does get punished if he hurts anyone, but Soren needs to learn to stand up for himself. He can't let himself get pushed around, especially not by his little brother. Kieran needs to understand that other kids won't be as understanding as his big brother. If he hits a bigger kid on the playground, that kid might just flatten him.
So, after punishing Kieran for the third time in one day and having the conversation about self-defense with Soren, I witnessed the instruction being put into action. I was in the kitchen, making soup. Soren and Kieran were playing in the living room. Kieran started bumping into Soren and shoving him and just generally messing with him. Soren told him to stop. Kieran didn't stop. So, Soren shoved Kieran, who landed on his butt. Kieran didn't cry. He didn't even get angry. He just looked surprised. They moved on and continued playing. It was over. No whining, no crying and no one going to their room.
Look, I'm not advocating violent behavior. Nor am I saying that I want my boys to be rough all the time. However, I've noticed that these boys are very physical beings. Kieran is even more physical than Soren. I don't want or expect them to be quiet and calm all the time.
When I told my dad about these incidents, he wasn't surprised at all. He was the oldest of the 8 children I mentioned earlier. He has 3 brothers and 4 sisters. He and his brothers fought and my dad was always the biggest and strongest. There was a pecking order in that house. Parents were at the top, then my dad, then everybody else. He was put in charge of his siblings when he was only 8 years old and my grandmother had to go for a walk to clear her head and get away from the kids for a bit. He was her support when his father was gone, which was most of the time. She relied on him. He was responsible because he had to be. His brothers and sisters didn't always like that. I'm sure they didn't think it was fair, especially when he's only 14 months older than the next boy. He tells the story about when he and his younger brother were playing 'King of the Mountain' and his brother was about to win, so my dad knocked him down. Hard. I think my Uncle Drew broke his arm or something traumatic like that. Needless to say, that did some damage to the relationship.
My Soren doesn't have those kinds of responsibilities because we only have two children. It was the same for me. I'm the oldest of two girls. There are almost five years between my sister and I, so we didn't really compete. We're also so different that we didn't need to fight much when we were little. I was usually in charge. She was usually happy to play what I wanted to play. But, if I got too bossy or annoying, she would let me know. If I did something mean, she would get me back. It's just normal sibling stuff. Soren and Kieran have very different personalities, too. Soren is a born leader. He's outgoing, loves to talk, and is happy almost all of the time. Kieran is more physical, also loves to talk and is very quick to anger. VERY quick. Kieran loves to sing and is moved by music in a way that I've never seen little children be moved. Soren likes music and wants to listen and sing along with radio and writes his own songs. Soren is all about math, science and technology, too. He wants to be Iron Man when he grows up. Who am I to argue with that? I think he can do anything he chooses to do, if he's willing to work hard.
I can't wait to see the kind of men my boys will become. They're already such interesting people and bring so much joy to so many.
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