Everything Else is Gravy
Sleep is not coming to me right now, so I write. I'm not sure why I can't sleep. I'm tired. I put in a full day. I was up at 5:45 when my son woke up. We dealt with an ant infestation, ran errands, visited my parents, did laundry, cleaned, cooked, bathed and did a bunch of other menial things. However, this is a big week. My husband is preparing for his third Bunbury Festival and we're all on 'high alert'. My parents used that phrase to signify any time in our lives when we were emotionally, intellectually and physically READY for big things. I hear everything. I see everything. I can't turn my brain off.
So, I write to calm down. Maybe I had too much caffeine today, but I don't think that's it. I think I'm just keyed up because this upcoming weekend means so much for our family. It is the culmination of all of my husbands hard work. We have three days until we see if people line up at the gates or stay home because they're afraid to take a little risk on some new music and a fabulous time. Don't get me wrong, ticket sales are great and everything is going well. It's now just a matter of exactly HOW well. Will he be pleased with the turnout? Will all the acts go off without a hitch? Will beer sales be what he's predicted them to be? Will this be a triumph?
He's due for a triumph. He's past due, actually. He's doing everything right. I'm not exaggerating. Everything. Right. He has earned the right to call Bunbury the next big music festival in this country. And he hasn't stopped there. He went ahead and created Buckle Up, the country festival, which will happen the weekend after Bunbury.
He never stops. He never gives up. I've known him for 14 years and I KNOW that those two things are true. It's amazing to watch. It's humbling, inspiring and even a little bit overwhelming. His standards are so high, for himself and his work. Yet, somehow, he's forgiving and understanding of those he loves. He cuts me a lot more slack than he does for himself. I often wonder if that's fair. I can have a bad day and cry and bitch and moan about it. I can take out my daily frustration ON HIM even when it's not his fault and he doesn't attack me or condemn me. He listens. He's patient. He's kind. HOW? I know it's because he loves me. I know it's because he values the work I do and he loves our sons. Somehow, it still doesn't seem fair. I'm working on making it more fair.
I have so much to learn from him. I like to think that I already have learned a great deal. I've actually mellowed a great deal. (Do you believe it?) I think before I speak (most of the time) and I try to be more moderate in my behavior. (Although, that's not saying much, in comparison with my previous behavior.) The weird thing is that I don't even resent him for being smarter than I am. I just look up to him. Every day. I hope he knows that. Especially now, when the shit is really going to hit the fan (for better or worse). I hope he knows that I appreciate everything he does for our family, for me and for our city. He does all of it for us. He's included in the 'us', of course. He wouldn't do anything 'altruistically', but no one should. He does everything for a deeply personal reason. I'm just so fortunate to be one of the persons.
So, before it all goes down, I want to go on record as saying, 'I believe in you, Bill. I support you. I know you've done your best and will continue to do just that.' Everything else is gravy.
So, I write to calm down. Maybe I had too much caffeine today, but I don't think that's it. I think I'm just keyed up because this upcoming weekend means so much for our family. It is the culmination of all of my husbands hard work. We have three days until we see if people line up at the gates or stay home because they're afraid to take a little risk on some new music and a fabulous time. Don't get me wrong, ticket sales are great and everything is going well. It's now just a matter of exactly HOW well. Will he be pleased with the turnout? Will all the acts go off without a hitch? Will beer sales be what he's predicted them to be? Will this be a triumph?
He's due for a triumph. He's past due, actually. He's doing everything right. I'm not exaggerating. Everything. Right. He has earned the right to call Bunbury the next big music festival in this country. And he hasn't stopped there. He went ahead and created Buckle Up, the country festival, which will happen the weekend after Bunbury.
He never stops. He never gives up. I've known him for 14 years and I KNOW that those two things are true. It's amazing to watch. It's humbling, inspiring and even a little bit overwhelming. His standards are so high, for himself and his work. Yet, somehow, he's forgiving and understanding of those he loves. He cuts me a lot more slack than he does for himself. I often wonder if that's fair. I can have a bad day and cry and bitch and moan about it. I can take out my daily frustration ON HIM even when it's not his fault and he doesn't attack me or condemn me. He listens. He's patient. He's kind. HOW? I know it's because he loves me. I know it's because he values the work I do and he loves our sons. Somehow, it still doesn't seem fair. I'm working on making it more fair.
I have so much to learn from him. I like to think that I already have learned a great deal. I've actually mellowed a great deal. (Do you believe it?) I think before I speak (most of the time) and I try to be more moderate in my behavior. (Although, that's not saying much, in comparison with my previous behavior.) The weird thing is that I don't even resent him for being smarter than I am. I just look up to him. Every day. I hope he knows that. Especially now, when the shit is really going to hit the fan (for better or worse). I hope he knows that I appreciate everything he does for our family, for me and for our city. He does all of it for us. He's included in the 'us', of course. He wouldn't do anything 'altruistically', but no one should. He does everything for a deeply personal reason. I'm just so fortunate to be one of the persons.
So, before it all goes down, I want to go on record as saying, 'I believe in you, Bill. I support you. I know you've done your best and will continue to do just that.' Everything else is gravy.
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