Choosing a New Path
We've been planning some changes at our house. Now, it's time to implement. We joined a homeschooling co-op yesterday. I took both boys to the facility for the open house. We met other parents and kids and received a tour of the space. The tour was given by one of the older kids. She's twelve. The ages ranged from one to twelve. The other parents were interesting, friendly and excited to try a new thing. So were the kids. Soren introduced himself to all the kids. Kieran found a group of older girls to play with. I met the moms (and one dad) and we talked about what we wanted to see happen and how we are willing to contribute to the co-op. It's a secular co-op, which is what I've been searching for.
We aren't a religious family and we didn't want to have to explain that to every homeschool group every single time. However, finding a secular homeschool group is a challenge in this part of the country. Cincinnati is a predominantly Catholic, Christian, conservative city. My family is Catholic. I was baptized Catholic. I like a lot of Catholics. I'm not Catholic anymore and my husband is REALLY not Catholic anymore. Our children aren't being raised in any church. So, we needed a secular co-op. The other parents were searching for the same thing. So, one lady finally said, 'Hey, if we all want this, and it doesn't exist, let's make one!' I love people who move onto action. She's from New York, originally. I think that's part of the reason this group is diverse and interesting.
Everyone was very happy. The kids were kind and inclusive. Boys and girls played together. All ages were content to share the experience. There were people from other parts of the world and people from different walks of life. (Something I really wanted.) The parents kept an eye on everyone, but trusted the children to play and explore, while we talked and explored the new territory.
When we left, there was handshaking, hugging and plenty of, 'See you next time!'s. The kids didn't want to go, but they were okay once we explained that we would all meet again. Soren particularly gravitated to a boy who is around ten. He was adopted a couple of years ago from Haiti. I watched as they quickly got to know each other and had an instant rapport. His mom and I noticed this relationship unfolding and then started chatting. I learned about their journey and she asked about ours. She was pleased to see so many kids welcoming her son. She asked about Soren, his age and his interests. She said her son likes to be around younger kids because kids his age are a little further ahead of him socially and academically due to his difficult childhood. I said it looked like her son was having no trouble socializing and making friends. He seemed happy and comfortable playing with the younger kids. My son likes to be around older kids because he's a bit of an old soul and likes to learn from people who have had different experiences. Soren and I have that in common.
As we drove home, Soren thanked me for taking them to the co-op. He said he thought the kids were very friendly and 'mature'! I agreed. I asked him why he thought they were so nice and outgoing. He said, 'Maybe it's because their homeschooled! I really liked the kid that I hugged. He wants me to teach him some things about Minecraft!'
I laughed, but I think he's onto something. These kids were accustomed to being treated with kindness and respect. It was obvious. Their parents were kind and respectful. This is not what I usually encounter when I meet other parents out in the world. Very few people in Cincinnati want to engage with 'strangers'. Very few people my age say, 'Good morning! Isn't it a beautiful day! My name is so and so, nice to meet you.' In fact, when I say those things to other moms at the park, in a restaurant or at the pool, I usually get a look. Some don't respond at all. Others say, 'Hi' and turn back to their family or friends. This has been my experience on most occasions, so to have a group of 'strangers' who were so willing to engage, chat, share and enjoy each other, was a breath of fresh air.
Today, we are at home. It's cold and rainy. It's a gray day in Cincinnati and that's pretty typical for this time of year. So, I'm choosing today to start implementing some of the theories I explored on vacation. I'm going to write in the mornings, between 7:00 and 9:00. The boys will be free to eat breakfast, watch TV, play video games or anything else. Then at 9:00, all screens (including my own) will go off. The boys will be free to choose anything that doesn't involve the TV, iPad or Xbox. That's right. Anything.
What will they choose? I don't know. We have books, art supplies, all of our Montessori works, microscopes, games, workbooks, journals, blocks, toys, etc. We also have the rest of the house. Until now, we've spent 9:00-12:00 in our 'school room'. We were limited by the choices in that room. I've chosen to expand our choices because I realized that even our lovely school room was too controlling. There were many days when none of us wanted to go down there, but we dragged ourselves down and sat on the rug and made ourselves choose things we didn't really want to choose.
Do I want to control their learning? Do I want to be the 'best teacher' or do I want them to follow their own curiosity. I've always claimed the latter, but if that's true, then why am I dictating when and where we learn? Is it because I'm afraid they won't choose to learn anything? Yes. There's it is. I'm afraid they won't choose learning. I'm afraid they will waste their time. I'm afraid they won't develop enough in the right ways.
Develop enough? The Right Ways? What does that even mean? If I trust that children and HUMANS are good and want to learn, if I truly believe that, then I need to stop controlling and get out of the way.
So, to that end, screens go off at 9:00 and we'll see where the day takes us. It will be an adventure. I'll let you know how it goes.
We aren't a religious family and we didn't want to have to explain that to every homeschool group every single time. However, finding a secular homeschool group is a challenge in this part of the country. Cincinnati is a predominantly Catholic, Christian, conservative city. My family is Catholic. I was baptized Catholic. I like a lot of Catholics. I'm not Catholic anymore and my husband is REALLY not Catholic anymore. Our children aren't being raised in any church. So, we needed a secular co-op. The other parents were searching for the same thing. So, one lady finally said, 'Hey, if we all want this, and it doesn't exist, let's make one!' I love people who move onto action. She's from New York, originally. I think that's part of the reason this group is diverse and interesting.
Everyone was very happy. The kids were kind and inclusive. Boys and girls played together. All ages were content to share the experience. There were people from other parts of the world and people from different walks of life. (Something I really wanted.) The parents kept an eye on everyone, but trusted the children to play and explore, while we talked and explored the new territory.
When we left, there was handshaking, hugging and plenty of, 'See you next time!'s. The kids didn't want to go, but they were okay once we explained that we would all meet again. Soren particularly gravitated to a boy who is around ten. He was adopted a couple of years ago from Haiti. I watched as they quickly got to know each other and had an instant rapport. His mom and I noticed this relationship unfolding and then started chatting. I learned about their journey and she asked about ours. She was pleased to see so many kids welcoming her son. She asked about Soren, his age and his interests. She said her son likes to be around younger kids because kids his age are a little further ahead of him socially and academically due to his difficult childhood. I said it looked like her son was having no trouble socializing and making friends. He seemed happy and comfortable playing with the younger kids. My son likes to be around older kids because he's a bit of an old soul and likes to learn from people who have had different experiences. Soren and I have that in common.
As we drove home, Soren thanked me for taking them to the co-op. He said he thought the kids were very friendly and 'mature'! I agreed. I asked him why he thought they were so nice and outgoing. He said, 'Maybe it's because their homeschooled! I really liked the kid that I hugged. He wants me to teach him some things about Minecraft!'
I laughed, but I think he's onto something. These kids were accustomed to being treated with kindness and respect. It was obvious. Their parents were kind and respectful. This is not what I usually encounter when I meet other parents out in the world. Very few people in Cincinnati want to engage with 'strangers'. Very few people my age say, 'Good morning! Isn't it a beautiful day! My name is so and so, nice to meet you.' In fact, when I say those things to other moms at the park, in a restaurant or at the pool, I usually get a look. Some don't respond at all. Others say, 'Hi' and turn back to their family or friends. This has been my experience on most occasions, so to have a group of 'strangers' who were so willing to engage, chat, share and enjoy each other, was a breath of fresh air.
Today, we are at home. It's cold and rainy. It's a gray day in Cincinnati and that's pretty typical for this time of year. So, I'm choosing today to start implementing some of the theories I explored on vacation. I'm going to write in the mornings, between 7:00 and 9:00. The boys will be free to eat breakfast, watch TV, play video games or anything else. Then at 9:00, all screens (including my own) will go off. The boys will be free to choose anything that doesn't involve the TV, iPad or Xbox. That's right. Anything.
What will they choose? I don't know. We have books, art supplies, all of our Montessori works, microscopes, games, workbooks, journals, blocks, toys, etc. We also have the rest of the house. Until now, we've spent 9:00-12:00 in our 'school room'. We were limited by the choices in that room. I've chosen to expand our choices because I realized that even our lovely school room was too controlling. There were many days when none of us wanted to go down there, but we dragged ourselves down and sat on the rug and made ourselves choose things we didn't really want to choose.
Do I want to control their learning? Do I want to be the 'best teacher' or do I want them to follow their own curiosity. I've always claimed the latter, but if that's true, then why am I dictating when and where we learn? Is it because I'm afraid they won't choose to learn anything? Yes. There's it is. I'm afraid they won't choose learning. I'm afraid they will waste their time. I'm afraid they won't develop enough in the right ways.
Develop enough? The Right Ways? What does that even mean? If I trust that children and HUMANS are good and want to learn, if I truly believe that, then I need to stop controlling and get out of the way.
So, to that end, screens go off at 9:00 and we'll see where the day takes us. It will be an adventure. I'll let you know how it goes.
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