Happy Forever
When we're little, our focus is entirely on ourselves. It's the way it's supposed to be. We're learning and we're completely dependent on our parents. We can't take care of ourselves, but we really want to. We have no control over our bodies, our emotions or even our thoughts. We let everything happen, react to it and allow others to do the work while we learn and grow. That's work, too.
Eventually, our focus shifts. We realize that our parents are people, too. My son, Soren, just realized that. We were listening to the 1812 Overture and he said, 'Why do you know what's going to happen in this song before it even happens?'
I replied, "Because I played this in an orchestra a very long time ago. I even conducted part of it with my band."
"What?! When was that?"
"When I was in high school, more than 20 years ago."
He looked at me like we'd just met and said, "There's a lot of stuff I don't know about you, isn't there?"
"Of course! I was alive for thirty-three years before you were born. I did a lot of things! I was a musician, an actress, a very good student and even a swimmer. I danced and sang and had BIG dreams for my future."
He looked sad, "Oh, I'm sorry you didn't get to live your dreams."
"Well, I just changed my dreams. That happens sometimes. It usually happens many times during a human lifetime. Yes, there was a time when I wanted nothing more than to be an actress or a professional flute player in a symphony orchestra. I wanted to be famous, perform on Broadway or star in the movies. I really thought I could do that. Even my teachers and parents told me it was possible, if I worked really hard."
"But, you didn't do that. Does that make you sad?"
"It used to. It really did. But, then I met your dad. You know that story. After I met your dad, my focus changed completely. I had already decided I didn't want to be a professional actress or musician. I had a different job working with computers. I didn't really like it, but it paid well and I liked the people I was working with and the travel I got to do. I was growing up. I was 25."
"Then what?"
"Then, Dad and I fell in love. It took us a while, but we eventually got married. All I wanted to do after that was be a mother. It's all I could think about. Nothing else really mattered. So, we made you! And you were better than I could have ever imagined. Then we made Kieran, and he was better than I ever imagined. Ever since then, every decision I make and every bit of JOY in my life is because I have you, Kieran and Dad. I don't feel like I missed out on my dreams. I feel like I finally figured out what my dreams REALLY are!"
"I love you, Mom. Thanks for marrying Dad. If you never married Dad, I wouldn't exist! Kieran wouldn't exist!" He got tears in his eyes. Oh, my beautiful little boy, where did you come from?!!
"You're welcome! Do you like being you? Are you happy? Do you like our home and the way we live?"
He thought. He looked at me, with those huge eyes that look into my soul, "I'm happy every day because I have this family. I will be happy forever because of you, Dad and Kieran. And Granddad! And Gran! Grandma, Grandpap... everyone! Friends! The world!"
"Well said, my love."
Eventually, our focus shifts. We realize that our parents are people, too. My son, Soren, just realized that. We were listening to the 1812 Overture and he said, 'Why do you know what's going to happen in this song before it even happens?'
I replied, "Because I played this in an orchestra a very long time ago. I even conducted part of it with my band."
"What?! When was that?"
"When I was in high school, more than 20 years ago."
He looked at me like we'd just met and said, "There's a lot of stuff I don't know about you, isn't there?"
"Of course! I was alive for thirty-three years before you were born. I did a lot of things! I was a musician, an actress, a very good student and even a swimmer. I danced and sang and had BIG dreams for my future."
He looked sad, "Oh, I'm sorry you didn't get to live your dreams."
"Well, I just changed my dreams. That happens sometimes. It usually happens many times during a human lifetime. Yes, there was a time when I wanted nothing more than to be an actress or a professional flute player in a symphony orchestra. I wanted to be famous, perform on Broadway or star in the movies. I really thought I could do that. Even my teachers and parents told me it was possible, if I worked really hard."
"But, you didn't do that. Does that make you sad?"
"It used to. It really did. But, then I met your dad. You know that story. After I met your dad, my focus changed completely. I had already decided I didn't want to be a professional actress or musician. I had a different job working with computers. I didn't really like it, but it paid well and I liked the people I was working with and the travel I got to do. I was growing up. I was 25."
"Then what?"
"Then, Dad and I fell in love. It took us a while, but we eventually got married. All I wanted to do after that was be a mother. It's all I could think about. Nothing else really mattered. So, we made you! And you were better than I could have ever imagined. Then we made Kieran, and he was better than I ever imagined. Ever since then, every decision I make and every bit of JOY in my life is because I have you, Kieran and Dad. I don't feel like I missed out on my dreams. I feel like I finally figured out what my dreams REALLY are!"
"I love you, Mom. Thanks for marrying Dad. If you never married Dad, I wouldn't exist! Kieran wouldn't exist!" He got tears in his eyes. Oh, my beautiful little boy, where did you come from?!!
"You're welcome! Do you like being you? Are you happy? Do you like our home and the way we live?"
He thought. He looked at me, with those huge eyes that look into my soul, "I'm happy every day because I have this family. I will be happy forever because of you, Dad and Kieran. And Granddad! And Gran! Grandma, Grandpap... everyone! Friends! The world!"
"Well said, my love."
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