Making New Friends after 40
How long has it been since I made a new friend? I can't really remember. I don't mean someone I chat with at a party and say, "We should get together sometime" but then never do. I mean someone with whom I feel instantly comfortable and can't wait to see again.
Well, it happened. I met a new 'mom friend', as my older son calls them. She's an unschooler and has two boys and a girl. Her middle son gets along famously with my older son. We've hung out twice and messaged a TON. We have those chats that end in, 'OMG! ME, TOO!' We've shared stories about our families, our marriages, motherhood, education, music, writing, etc. I think she's just as happy as I am about the connection.
I started wondering why we've shared so many stories so quickly. Then I realized that it's because we both truly wanted to make a new friend. What do friends do? They share their truths, help each other and generally just enjoy each other's company.
When you're over 40, it seems like making new friends is much harder than it used to be. Our time is at a premium. We have so many responsibilities that it seems almost impossible to squeeze in some time just for ourselves. But, if we don't, we get weird. We start to feel lonely.
I'm hardly ever ALONE, but I can still feel lonely. I love my husband and my boys beyond measure, but there's something about having a female friend who has been through many of the same things that I have.
Women are usually hard for me. I usually connect with men much more easily. When I was young, most of my close friends were men. The few women that I have been close to are incredibly special to me, but they aren't unschooling moms. We can't connect on that level. I really wanted to talk to someone about all of the challenges and beautiful moments. I wanted someone to say, "I get it. I feel the same way. You're not alone."
Well, someone said all of those things. It's so exciting. I told my husband that it's almost like dating (without the sex). I even put makeup on before I see her! So, don't give up on finding a new friend, if you want one. They're out there. It might take a while to find them, but you'll both be so happy when you do.
Well, it happened. I met a new 'mom friend', as my older son calls them. She's an unschooler and has two boys and a girl. Her middle son gets along famously with my older son. We've hung out twice and messaged a TON. We have those chats that end in, 'OMG! ME, TOO!' We've shared stories about our families, our marriages, motherhood, education, music, writing, etc. I think she's just as happy as I am about the connection.
I started wondering why we've shared so many stories so quickly. Then I realized that it's because we both truly wanted to make a new friend. What do friends do? They share their truths, help each other and generally just enjoy each other's company.
When you're over 40, it seems like making new friends is much harder than it used to be. Our time is at a premium. We have so many responsibilities that it seems almost impossible to squeeze in some time just for ourselves. But, if we don't, we get weird. We start to feel lonely.
I'm hardly ever ALONE, but I can still feel lonely. I love my husband and my boys beyond measure, but there's something about having a female friend who has been through many of the same things that I have.
Women are usually hard for me. I usually connect with men much more easily. When I was young, most of my close friends were men. The few women that I have been close to are incredibly special to me, but they aren't unschooling moms. We can't connect on that level. I really wanted to talk to someone about all of the challenges and beautiful moments. I wanted someone to say, "I get it. I feel the same way. You're not alone."
Well, someone said all of those things. It's so exciting. I told my husband that it's almost like dating (without the sex). I even put makeup on before I see her! So, don't give up on finding a new friend, if you want one. They're out there. It might take a while to find them, but you'll both be so happy when you do.
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