My Own Worst Critic
It suddenly dawned on me that I left something out in my last post. I talked about how I feel about critics, but I didn't mention why. Most people don't need criticism because we are our own worst critic. There's nothing you can say to me that I haven't already said to myself.
Most of the over-achievers I know are also incredibly hard on themselves. That's why they're able to push themselves so hard. They refuse to settle for anything less than their best effort and even that isn't usually good enough for them.
That's why we don't need criticism. We are aware of every flaw. We beat ourselves up for every mistake. We evaluate every decision we've ever made in an attempt to learn from our failures and successes. We know when we could have tried a little harder. We know when we're coasting.
We also know when we've achieved something important. When we've realized our own goals, it doesn't mean we're finished or that we no longer have work to do. It does mean we want to celebrate the progress. Critics don't like to celebrate or acknowledge achievement. They only want to point out the work that remains. They're looking for a perfection that they will never see because it doesn't exist.
The voice of the critic only echoes our own worst fears. That's why it's superfluous. We've already dealt with the issues the critics bring up. We are either choosing to ignore them, so that we can move forward, or we've already fixed them. When the critic points out something we've already dealt with, we are annoyed. We want to scream, 'Do you think I haven't thought of that?! How stupid do you think I am?!'
When the critic points out something we haven't solved, we want to say, 'YES! I know! I'm working on it! Have you already solved all of your problems?! Are you leading a perfect, unencumbered life!?'
Critics like to say, 'Oh, she doesn't take criticism well', with an air of condescension, as if we would learn so much from them if only we could swallow our pride. They are wrong. Refusing to take criticism from anyone but ourselves, is the mark of an evolved, self-sufficient human being. The only opinion that matters is our own.
Most of the over-achievers I know are also incredibly hard on themselves. That's why they're able to push themselves so hard. They refuse to settle for anything less than their best effort and even that isn't usually good enough for them.
That's why we don't need criticism. We are aware of every flaw. We beat ourselves up for every mistake. We evaluate every decision we've ever made in an attempt to learn from our failures and successes. We know when we could have tried a little harder. We know when we're coasting.
We also know when we've achieved something important. When we've realized our own goals, it doesn't mean we're finished or that we no longer have work to do. It does mean we want to celebrate the progress. Critics don't like to celebrate or acknowledge achievement. They only want to point out the work that remains. They're looking for a perfection that they will never see because it doesn't exist.
The voice of the critic only echoes our own worst fears. That's why it's superfluous. We've already dealt with the issues the critics bring up. We are either choosing to ignore them, so that we can move forward, or we've already fixed them. When the critic points out something we've already dealt with, we are annoyed. We want to scream, 'Do you think I haven't thought of that?! How stupid do you think I am?!'
When the critic points out something we haven't solved, we want to say, 'YES! I know! I'm working on it! Have you already solved all of your problems?! Are you leading a perfect, unencumbered life!?'
Critics like to say, 'Oh, she doesn't take criticism well', with an air of condescension, as if we would learn so much from them if only we could swallow our pride. They are wrong. Refusing to take criticism from anyone but ourselves, is the mark of an evolved, self-sufficient human being. The only opinion that matters is our own.
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