Make it Easy

We've had a weird week.  Our first floor is being painted.  The carpet guys come next week.  The entire first floor and part of the second is like a war zone.  Furniture is out of place, all of the curtains have been taken down and there's stuff piled up on the tables and counters.  I never think that my environment matters that much until it's completely changed.  It matters.

We ordered new slipcovers for our couch.  They arrived and we put them on, only to discover that they don't look good with our paint.  This could have been the straw that broke the camel's back.  My husband and I looked at it for a day, and we both made comments like, 'I think the couch is too green.  The walls have more blue in it than we thought they would.'  Eventually, we admitted that the color is wrong.  We can't change the paint because it's almost finished.  The carpet has already been ordered.  We didn't think we could send the slip covers back, because they were custom made.  

What to do?  Should we fight about it because I chose the color and didn't want to take the time to order swatches?  Should someone say, 'I told you so!'?  No.  We simply went online and checked the return policy.  We assumed we couldn't send them back because they were custom made, but we actually can!  So, we chose another color, which will look beautiful with the paint and carpet.  We'll send the offensive ones back and the new ones should arrive a week before the huge party I'm planning.

I've seen these kinds of problems turn into huge marital conflicts.  We've both had a stressful week.  Our youngest is sick, my husband just got over a nasty cold and I'm trying to plan a bunch of stuff, while doing unschooling with the boys.  It feels like we're both juggling a lot right now.

I think that's why, instead of freaking out about paint and slip covers, we decided to acknowledge the mistake and fix it.  No blame, no argument, no tension.

I think I tend to make things harder than they need to be.  I get defensive, angry or frustrated and then wallow in that emotion.  I'm starting to realize how counterproductive that is.  Yes, we're both a little stressed right now.  Does that mean we need to take it out on each other?  How would that help us deal with our stress?  

It wouldn't.  It would add more stress.  After all, it's just a couch, some paint and some carpet.  If managing five companies doesn't put Bill over the edge, he certainly won't allow paint and fabric to take him down.  If educating our kids, running a household, overseeing contractors and planning a big party doesn't break me, then I think I can handle upholstery challenges.  

We have to learn to make things easier for ourselves and fix one problem at a time.