Today's Blend
As the mother of a ten month old baby and a three year old, my days are a unique blend of joy, exhaustion, awe, frustration, excitement, boredom, anger, sadness and all-consuming love. The blend changes, depending on the day, but usually all of those elements are there. Now, when I say, 'unique' I don't mean to imply that no one else on the planet experiences these emotions. I mean that the intensity of this particular blend is unique to parents of young children. If we try to explain it to people who don't have children, they don't get it. They might think they get it, but they don't. I thought I got it before I had children. I thought I was prepared. In many way, I was more prepared than others. I still had NO CLUE what it would feel like to love my children.
It is because we love them so much that they can frustrate us to no end. We want the best for them. We know how important our jobs are. The pressure is immense. The love is overwhelming, but so is the exhaustion. Parenting a new baby is like being an alcoholic starting AA. The things you don't get to have anymore are adequate sleep and privacy. So, you take it one day at a time, or even one moment at a time. You hang on by a thread until nap time or until your spouse gets home to give you a break. You measure your time in feedings and diaper changes and you consider sleeping for five hours a luxury you can't always afford. You long for rest and a time when someone isn't clinging to your body.
Then, just when you think you can't take it anymore, something magical happens. One of your children gives you that special look or tells you they love you and you melt. You feel yourself falling in love again and you can't get enough of their nuzzles and hugs, their wet kisses and fingers exploring your face.
I just gave the baby his bath, which is one of my favorite things in the entire world. He loves to splash and thinks it's so funny when I end up with bubbles and water all over me. He's all shiny and slippery and his eyes are as blue as they can be. His smile is contagious and expresses the pure joy that perhaps only babies can experience. When he's all clean and smelling delicious, I bundle him in a fluffy, white towel and take him to his quiet, dimly lit room. I sing softly while I put his lotion on. He tries to lick it off his toes. He looks at me with that sleepy, beautiful face and I can feel that we're still connected. I can feel that he knows me as well as I know him. We understand each other. I get him dressed and take him to the rocking chair. I feed him and sing to him while we snuggle and he stares up at me. When he's finished eating, I put him on my shoulder and he buries his face in my neck. He falls asleep and everything is peace, contentment and joy.
Today's blend is one of my favorites.
It is because we love them so much that they can frustrate us to no end. We want the best for them. We know how important our jobs are. The pressure is immense. The love is overwhelming, but so is the exhaustion. Parenting a new baby is like being an alcoholic starting AA. The things you don't get to have anymore are adequate sleep and privacy. So, you take it one day at a time, or even one moment at a time. You hang on by a thread until nap time or until your spouse gets home to give you a break. You measure your time in feedings and diaper changes and you consider sleeping for five hours a luxury you can't always afford. You long for rest and a time when someone isn't clinging to your body.
Then, just when you think you can't take it anymore, something magical happens. One of your children gives you that special look or tells you they love you and you melt. You feel yourself falling in love again and you can't get enough of their nuzzles and hugs, their wet kisses and fingers exploring your face.
I just gave the baby his bath, which is one of my favorite things in the entire world. He loves to splash and thinks it's so funny when I end up with bubbles and water all over me. He's all shiny and slippery and his eyes are as blue as they can be. His smile is contagious and expresses the pure joy that perhaps only babies can experience. When he's all clean and smelling delicious, I bundle him in a fluffy, white towel and take him to his quiet, dimly lit room. I sing softly while I put his lotion on. He tries to lick it off his toes. He looks at me with that sleepy, beautiful face and I can feel that we're still connected. I can feel that he knows me as well as I know him. We understand each other. I get him dressed and take him to the rocking chair. I feed him and sing to him while we snuggle and he stares up at me. When he's finished eating, I put him on my shoulder and he buries his face in my neck. He falls asleep and everything is peace, contentment and joy.
Today's blend is one of my favorites.
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