Dear Younger Self
Every once in a while, I look at my current lifestyle and think, 'If I could tell my younger self that she would be married with two children and living in the suburbs, she wouldn't believe me.' She really wouldn't. She wished for this life. She yearned for it, but she was beginning to think it just wasn't going to happen. She dated... A lot. She didn't meet anyone she could truly imagine spending the rest of her life with. No one came close to her idea of a father for her future children. Not even in the ballpark. She was getting cynical, bitter and jaded. She was only in her 20s.
I wish I could tell her not to worry about it so much, but she wouldn't listen even if I could. Being married and raising a family were the only things that mattered to her. Luckily, they still are!
I had no idea, when I met my husband, that we would be married 8 years later. I wished and hoped and even prayed a little, but I didn't know. I worried and wondered and imagined, but I didn't think I could be that fortunate.
It didn't even occur to me that all of those things would happen and I would decide to homeschool our boys. I thought homeschooling was weird and probably not good for children. It wasn't even on my radar. Then, I met my husband's sister. When my husband told me that she was homeschooling all five of her children, I was shocked. She seemed so normal! How could that be?? Her kids were (and are) lovely, smart, funny, creative, social people. How could that happen?
Over the years, as I got to know my sister-in-law and her children, I learned about their process and became intrigued. When my older son was a baby, I began to seriously consider (and research and debate) the idea. Fortunately, my husband was 200% supportive from the beginning. He has always been confident in my ability to educate our children. I, on the other hand, had to talk myself into and out of the idea many times over the first five years of my parenting experience.
Once I finally decided to do it, which was last spring, I felt a new wave of terror. Now that I've told everyone, I have to actually do it! I chose a method and curriculum. I read and read and read some more. I met with other homeschooling families. I met with teachers. I was so nervous and excited and petrified.
Then, it happened. We finally had our first day. It wasn't scary. It wasn't overwhelming. I was prepared. I was ready. The boys were beyond ready. They couldn't wait to get into our classroom and get to work.
We've now been having school four morning a week for almost three weeks. I truly feel that I've finally found my purpose. I've never been happier. Never. My boys exude joy, curiosity, passion and enthusiasm. This is what my life is about and it is more than I ever expected. This is what it means to be fulfilled and in love with life.
This is it.
I wish I could tell her not to worry about it so much, but she wouldn't listen even if I could. Being married and raising a family were the only things that mattered to her. Luckily, they still are!
I had no idea, when I met my husband, that we would be married 8 years later. I wished and hoped and even prayed a little, but I didn't know. I worried and wondered and imagined, but I didn't think I could be that fortunate.
It didn't even occur to me that all of those things would happen and I would decide to homeschool our boys. I thought homeschooling was weird and probably not good for children. It wasn't even on my radar. Then, I met my husband's sister. When my husband told me that she was homeschooling all five of her children, I was shocked. She seemed so normal! How could that be?? Her kids were (and are) lovely, smart, funny, creative, social people. How could that happen?
Over the years, as I got to know my sister-in-law and her children, I learned about their process and became intrigued. When my older son was a baby, I began to seriously consider (and research and debate) the idea. Fortunately, my husband was 200% supportive from the beginning. He has always been confident in my ability to educate our children. I, on the other hand, had to talk myself into and out of the idea many times over the first five years of my parenting experience.
Once I finally decided to do it, which was last spring, I felt a new wave of terror. Now that I've told everyone, I have to actually do it! I chose a method and curriculum. I read and read and read some more. I met with other homeschooling families. I met with teachers. I was so nervous and excited and petrified.
Then, it happened. We finally had our first day. It wasn't scary. It wasn't overwhelming. I was prepared. I was ready. The boys were beyond ready. They couldn't wait to get into our classroom and get to work.
We've now been having school four morning a week for almost three weeks. I truly feel that I've finally found my purpose. I've never been happier. Never. My boys exude joy, curiosity, passion and enthusiasm. This is what my life is about and it is more than I ever expected. This is what it means to be fulfilled and in love with life.
This is it.
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